Well, being a mommy of a toddler, being very pregnant, and starting a new from-home job does not bode well for personal blogging.
But today I needed to write.
I was just listening to my new favorite song, "Trust in You," by Lauren Daigle. Find it here if you haven't heard it. I invited Isabel to dance with me, and as I held my firstborn in my arms, studying her toothy smile and listening to the lyrics, my eyes welled up with tears as my soul welled up with joy.
I had been so afraid. So afraid to do labor again, even though my last experience was a good one. So afraid to lose sleep. So afraid this baby will be a screamer. So afraid Isabel will feel neglected. So afraid I won't be able to be a good mommy of two.
And then I heard this:
"Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see
I’ve tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty Warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You’re by my side
When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!
Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings
There’s not a day ahead You have not seen
So, in all things be my life and breath
I want what You want Lord and nothing less
When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!
You are my strength and comfort
You are my steady hand
You are my firm foundation; the rock on which I stand
Your ways are always higher
Your plans are always good
There’s not a place where I’ll go, You’ve not already stood
When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!
I will trust in You!
I will trust in You!
I will trust in You!"
God has already gone before me. He will give me what I need each day. I need not worry about tomorrow because God is already there. Even if I have a colicky baby, even if Isabel feels neglected, even if I am overwhelmed, even if I don't get enough sleep: I will trust in God, because he is trustworthy, and his plan is perfect.
This was what I needed today, as I look towards this {hopefully} last week of pregnancy, towards my world changing yet again. But the God who doesn't change stands with me.
I hope you'll find peace and comfort in that knowledge as well.
And here's hoping that the next time I write, I'll be writing my second daughter's birth story!
xoxo,
A
