At this time last year, I was very nervous. Not nervous because I wasn't sure if what I was about to do was right, but because you can't change your life forever and not be a little nervous. On this day last year, I had a stupid meltdown at our rehearsal because we didn't have the music. One meltdown for the whole wedding experience? Pretty good, I'd say, considering it's me we're talking about here. On this day last year, I sat in the car with my fiance and we prayed about what would happen the next day and for the rest of our lives. On this day last year, I went to bed, surrounded by my best friends, and slept the sound sleep of one who knows God has led her to this man, this time, this occasion.
This day last year was the day before my wedding. As much as I loved Mike then, little did I realize how much more I'd love him a year later. Little did I know the struggles and the joys we'd encounter in our first year together.
This day last year was the eve of my very favorite day ever... to be reviewed tomorrow. :)
xoxo, A
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
1.11.2013
5.15.2012
Tip for Tuesday: Wedding Prayer
Sorry, I'm on a wedding vein this week. I continued to think about the wedding on Sunday, and they included a prayer I've heard at many of my friends' weddings. The first time I heard it was at my friend Ashley's wedding (find her blog here), still one of the best I've ever been to. I knew from the first time I heard it, I had to have it in my wedding, too.
We found it online, and Dad made a couple adjustments to it. Those adjustments aren't reflected here, but I think there was some kind of theological wording issue. Regardless, it remains, in my opinion, one of the best prayers I've ever heard period, and completely perfect for a wedding.
So here's the tip: getting married? Know someone who is getting married? Consider this prayer, or even get crafty and put it on a frame or something lovely like that!
Enjoy!
xoxo, A
We found it online, and Dad made a couple adjustments to it. Those adjustments aren't reflected here, but I think there was some kind of theological wording issue. Regardless, it remains, in my opinion, one of the best prayers I've ever heard period, and completely perfect for a wedding.
So here's the tip: getting married? Know someone who is getting married? Consider this prayer, or even get crafty and put it on a frame or something lovely like that!
Enjoy!
The Puritan's Prayer for Marriage:
"Father in heaven, thank you for this husband-wife commitment to Christian marriage. As they look ahead, we pray that their future will never lack the convictions that make a marriage strong.
Bless this husband. Bless him as provider and protector. Sustain him in all the pressures that come with the task of stewarding a family. May his strength be his wife’s boast and pride, and may he so live that his wife may find in him the haven for which the heart of a woman truly longs.
Bless this wife. Give her a tenderness that makes her great. A deep sense of understanding and a strong faith in you. Give her that inner beauty of soul that never fades, that eternal youth that is found in holding fast to the things that never age. May she so live that her husband may be pleased to reverence her in the shrine of his own heart.
Teach them that marriage is not living for each other—it is two people uniting and joining hands to serve you. Give them a great spiritual purpose in life. May they seek first your kingdom and your righteousness knowing that you will sustain them thru all of life’s challenges.
May they minimize each other’s weaknesses and be swift to praise and magnify each other’s strengths so that they might view each other thru a lover’s kind and patient eyes. Give them a little something to forgive each day that their love might learn to be longsuffering.
Bless them and develop their character as they walk together with you. Give them enough hurts to keep them human, enough failures to keep their hands clenched tightly in yours and enough success to make them sure they walk with you throughout all of their life.
May they never take each other’s love for granted but always experience that breathless wonder that exclaims, “Out of all the world, you have chosen me!” Then when life is done and the sun is setting, may they be found then as now, still hand in hand, still very proud, still thanking you for each other.
May they travel together as friends and lovers, brother and sister, husband and wife, father and mother, and as servants of Christ until he shall return, or until that day when one shall lay the other in the arms of God. We ask through Jesus Christ, the great lover of our souls.
Amen."
xoxo, A
5.14.2012
Inspiration Monday: Vows
Inspiration Monday is taking a bit of a different turn today. Instead of rounding up a collection to inspire you to have a party or decorate a room, I thought I'd give you inspiration for your marriage, whether it currently exists, or it still lies in your future.
Hband and I went to a wedding yesterday. Well, "went to" is an understatement. We actually drove nine hours round trip to see a dear friend get married. The trip was fun because I got to be with my best friend the whole time. This was the first time he and I got to attend a wedding together (besides our own). Ironically, it was exactly one year after I attended another dear friend's wedding, where her mother told me I'd be next... and sure enough, I was engaged three days later!
I was unprepared for the emotions I'd experience watching a wedding with Hband. I felt a rush of all those feelings I experienced firsthand just four months ago. I told him I hope I never forget those feelings. The tears I used to shed at weddings was different-- tears of happiness for the bride, tears for the changes that would occur... but yesterday's tears were tears of joy simply remembering the truly divine experience of entering into a covenant relationship before the Lord.
As I sat there, watching this couple become one, remembering my own wedding just a few months ago, I remembered how meaningful our vows were. I remembered how we labored over the wording, careful to craft them to say exactly what we wanted to promise, and careful that they reflect a biblical marriage relationship. We got the skeleton of our vows from some kind of bland "Christian vows" on the Internet, but we added Scriptural references and personal promises. They are unique to us, they still give me the chills.
I remember pulling mine out of the pocket (yes, pocket) in my dress and barely choking back the tears as I promised my husband these things, and I'll never forget his precious, rare tears as he did the same.
I hope these vows inspire you to write your own promises for your spouse, or to keep the ones you promised long ago.
And by the way... if you're a bride-to-be, feel free to use these vows if you like them... but be sure to honor them.
xoxo, A
Hband and I went to a wedding yesterday. Well, "went to" is an understatement. We actually drove nine hours round trip to see a dear friend get married. The trip was fun because I got to be with my best friend the whole time. This was the first time he and I got to attend a wedding together (besides our own). Ironically, it was exactly one year after I attended another dear friend's wedding, where her mother told me I'd be next... and sure enough, I was engaged three days later!
I was unprepared for the emotions I'd experience watching a wedding with Hband. I felt a rush of all those feelings I experienced firsthand just four months ago. I told him I hope I never forget those feelings. The tears I used to shed at weddings was different-- tears of happiness for the bride, tears for the changes that would occur... but yesterday's tears were tears of joy simply remembering the truly divine experience of entering into a covenant relationship before the Lord.
As I sat there, watching this couple become one, remembering my own wedding just a few months ago, I remembered how meaningful our vows were. I remembered how we labored over the wording, careful to craft them to say exactly what we wanted to promise, and careful that they reflect a biblical marriage relationship. We got the skeleton of our vows from some kind of bland "Christian vows" on the Internet, but we added Scriptural references and personal promises. They are unique to us, they still give me the chills.
I remember pulling mine out of the pocket (yes, pocket) in my dress and barely choking back the tears as I promised my husband these things, and I'll never forget his precious, rare tears as he did the same.
I hope these vows inspire you to write your own promises for your spouse, or to keep the ones you promised long ago.
And by the way... if you're a bride-to-be, feel free to use these vows if you like them... but be sure to honor them.
I, Michael, take you, Amanda, to be my wedded wife. With deepest joy I receive
you into my life that together we may be one. As is Christ to His body, the
church, so I will give sacrificially to you, as a loving and faithful husband. Always will I perform my headship over you,
even as Christ does over me. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest
devotion, my tenderest care. I will continually seek to love you, comfort you,
honor and cherish you, even as I care for my own body. I will provide for you, pursue you, and
protect you, as the weaker vessel. I
will set as my goal in life to please first God, and then you, in all things,
and I promise that I will lead us spiritually in faith and hope in Christ
Jesus. I will faithfully follow Christ as I entrust our marriage and family to
Him, and I will let Him make me into the man you deserve. Ever honoring God's guidance by His Spirit
through the Word, and so throughout life, no matter what may be ahead of us, I
pledge to you my life as a loving and faithful husband. Forsaking all others, I will keep myself only
for you as long as we live, so that in all things, God might be glorified.
I, Amanda, take you, Michael, to be my wedded husband. With deepest joy I entrust
my whole heart to you, and the rest of my days as God wills. As you have
pledged to me your life and love, so I too happily give you my life, and in
confidence submit myself to your headship as to the Lord. As is the church in
her relationship to Christ, so I will be to you. I will live first unto our God and then unto
you, ever deepening my relationship with Him, as my first love and Savior. Loving
you selflessly, patiently, gently, I will strive to obey you humbly; being
quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry; caring for you thoughtfully
and always seeking to please you. God has prepared me for you and so I will
strengthen, help, comfort, respect, and encourage you. I will strive to bring
you good all the days of your life. Therefore, throughout life, no matter what
may be ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as an obedient and faithful wife, and
promise to persevere until death alone shall part us, so that in all things,
God might be glorified.
xoxo, A
5.11.2012
DIY Friday: Wedding/Anniversary Gift
Do you have a friend getting married, or an anniversary coming up? Are you short on cash? Have I got the project for you! :) Head over to Michael's with your weekly 40-50% off coupon and pick up a frame that has a wide mat. I find that those wedding/graduation frames that intend for guests to sign the mat work perfectly. If you can't find one, make your own with cardstock!
Put a cute little picture of the couple inside, and here's where the fun begins. If you're using cardstock, you could probably create a template and print out words in whatever font you want. But if you're like me and love handwriting, do this yourself. It's fun! Write out the vows of the couple or the lyrics to their first dance song on the mat, and it provides a really pretty, very meaningful gift that will always serve as a reminder of their special day. Or yours.
I got this frame for SUPER cheap at Michael's. Then I broke the glass by accident because I'm a klutz. So my parents kindly had the glass replaced at Ace (turns out it was inexpensive!), and this is what I found afterwards:
Thanks, Dad.
Here's how it looks now:
Make it personal and meaningful, and have fun! Also don't run out of ink, and you may want to put pencil lines on so your writing is even... I didn't and I kind of wish I had. Even so, it's cute!
And PS, this is the song we danced to for our first dance as a married couple: "Love Never Fails" by Brandon Heath. I couldn't think of a more appropriate song. It still gives me the chills. :)
xoxo, A
Put a cute little picture of the couple inside, and here's where the fun begins. If you're using cardstock, you could probably create a template and print out words in whatever font you want. But if you're like me and love handwriting, do this yourself. It's fun! Write out the vows of the couple or the lyrics to their first dance song on the mat, and it provides a really pretty, very meaningful gift that will always serve as a reminder of their special day. Or yours.
I got this frame for SUPER cheap at Michael's. Then I broke the glass by accident because I'm a klutz. So my parents kindly had the glass replaced at Ace (turns out it was inexpensive!), and this is what I found afterwards:
Here's how it looks now:
Make it personal and meaningful, and have fun! Also don't run out of ink, and you may want to put pencil lines on so your writing is even... I didn't and I kind of wish I had. Even so, it's cute!
And PS, this is the song we danced to for our first dance as a married couple: "Love Never Fails" by Brandon Heath. I couldn't think of a more appropriate song. It still gives me the chills. :)
xoxo, A
4.16.2012
Inspiration Monday: Fifties-Inspired Spring Wedding
For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to open up a shop where I can plan brides' weddings for them. So many brides don't have direction and don't really know what they want. I want to be some kind of redheaded David Tutera, only with lady parts and less opulence/garishness.
I had so much fun putting together my inspiration for a fifties-inspired spring wedding. It's long, but try to envision it, and enjoy!
xoxo, A
I had so much fun putting together my inspiration for a fifties-inspired spring wedding. It's long, but try to envision it, and enjoy!
The wedding dress:
The veil:
The wedding cardi:
The wedding shoes:
The bride and bridesmaid sunglasses:
The bridesmaid dresses:
The bridesmaid cardis:
bridesmaid shoes:
The groom and groomsmen suits and ties:
The groomsmen's hats:
The ringbearer's bowtie:
The bride's bouquet:
The bridesmaid bouquets:
I can't find original source... help?
The boutonnieres:
The getaway vehicle:
Table flowers:
Table flowers:
Table flowers:
Table fabric:
Table fabric:
Table fabric:
Table fabric:
Table "look":
Reception venue... roller rink!:
Decor: hankie bunting:
Favors:
Mini pies:
Vintage plates:
Pie bar:
Wedding pie topper:
xoxo, A
4.10.2012
Tip for Tuesday: Wedding Tips
I don't want to box anyone out with this post; you know, focus entirely on just the engaged or nearly engaged. So, maybe if you're single, file this away, and perhaps if you're married, add your own advice in the comments (remember, I don't hate comments ;) ).
I should have written this when the event was fresher, but as it is, I'm not even three months into my marriage yet, so I'd say that's fairly fresh. I mean, if I was a can of beans, I wouldn't have even come close to my max shelf life. That's fresh. Oh dear. Anyway, I made it through wedding planning. I survived my wedding. I returned alive from my honeymoon. So I'd say that's a success. After living through that, and well, you know what they say about hindsight, I have a few tips for those planning and executing all the festivities involved in a wedding. Ready, set, go (warning-- this is a long one!):
You will probably feel overwhelmed at first. Your first step should be to find out who is contributing what to the wedding, and develop a budget. Decide which things are most important to you, and spend more money on those. The reception will most likely take up 1/3 to 1/2 of your budget. I allocated more money to photography because that was one of the most important things to me. Also, when you are assuming how much things will cost, always assume higher. Then you'll be pleasantly surprised. And be sure you list every possible cost you can think of-- even down to little gifts for those who help you, and the gifts for your minister, musicians, etc. Don't cheap out and not acknowledge those who help you. We couldn't pay much for musicians, so we asked friends to do it. We couldn't afford to give them large gifts, but we did give them a small, thoughtful gift, and acknowledge our thankfulness for their talent and time because it was valuable to us. Seriously, don't cheap out on your friends.
Stick to that budget. You will go over in some areas of your budget, but then you'll come in under in other areas. But if you go over in every single one, your $10,000 wedding will soon be a $20,000 wedding. Don't forget random things like dress cleaning and preservation and thank you notes.
After you have a budget, think about the feel you want your wedding to have. Ours was soft, cozy, and intimate, which made me think of soft, neutral colors and lots of candles. We built our theme around that.
You must have some kind of bulletin board/workspace to collect pictures and ideas. I loved Pinterest, because I could search for things and collect them on a virtual bulletin board, and they had so many DIY ideas! It also helped my mom and others get the concept I was going for.
Even if you can't draw, sketch out what you want the tables to look like, or anything else-- cake, dress, etc. It's always easier for others to catch your vision if they can actually see it.
Have a few working themes you'd like (different colors, etc.) and run them past your fiance. He might not care, or he'll want to be really involved. Hopefully he'll be like Hband and just want you to have the wedding of your dreams. :) This will also help in case the wedding venue you book doesn't quite fit the theme you want-- you'll have other options.
If it's in your budget, get a wedding planner. I'm not talking J.Lo, here-- she doesn't have to be terribly expensive. A wonderful woman at our church has her own wedding planning business, and she does a wonderful job at a fantastic price. Not only did she help me plan and organize beforehand, but on the day of the wedding, she was priceless-- she got everyone where they needed to be, and we had no disasters!
Do lots and lots of Internet research before you visit places. Your time is valuable, and gas prices are high. View venues online and call/email for pricing before you visit, and narrow your choices down to five or fewer. Then if you don't like any of those, expand your search.
Realize you can haggle with venues. Tell them your budget and ask them what they can do to meet it. We opted out of the bar package (saved TONS), and even though some family members moaned about it a bit, there was an in-house bar and they helped themselves. They also worked with us to bring the food and beverage minimum down, and that was fantastic. Don't be afraid to haggle and discuss-- they have an employee whose job it is to do that and work with you. Just don't be unreasonable. Also, realize the initial price they quote you might not include tax or gratuities, which can be $1,000 more than the quoted price. Get the full picture.
Make lists, lists, lists! Make a list of every single thing you can think of that needs to be done, and rejoice when you start crossing them off the list! Invite a friend over to help you with this, because two minds are better than one. Write in deadlines for yourself, too. Make a list of every song you want in the wedding and at the reception, and for what event. Make a list of every single person you can think of who can help set up at each venue/take things from the ceremony to the reception/take back tuxes, etc. For each thing that needs to be done, find a friend to do it. Be sure those friends are willing to help, though. And give them a printed list of their responsibilities via email. Make a detailed timeline of the day before the wedding through till when you leave the reception. Try to include everything. It will help you not forget anything. Make a list of every gift you need to give. This is what saved my sanity most: lists!
When you go try on dresses, don't try on anything outside your price range, unless you're prepared to go over budget. Boy do I know what this is like. You will inevitably fall in love with a dress that's $300+ more than you budgeted, and you will have to have it. Maybe you'll be able to make it work, or maybe you'll go way over budget. Just ask the woman helping you to only bring you dresses within your price range. Also, don't be afraid to try on other styles than what you think you want. I originally wanted something very simple and streamlined. I ended up with a simple dress, but it was more of a ballgown-- everyone said they never would have guessed I'd pick that dress. And don't forget, your veil will be expensive. Either be prepared for that, borrow a friend's, or make your own.
Also realize you will probably need your dress altered-- at least hemmed. Do your research and find a tried and true tailor or seamstress in your area. I had a friend get married about seven months before me, and she loved her tailor. I tried him and not only was he unbelievably good, but his price was far more reasonable than anywhere else, for three fittings. We actually overpaid him on purpose because it was worth it and we were so grateful.
Find a florist who will work with your budget and catches your vision. The last thing you want is a florist who doesn't get your theme/look, and you wind up with flowers that you don't love. My florist immediately caught my vision and ran with it. She invested herself in my wedding and saw it as a chance to be creative, and I ended up with fantastic flowers that I loved. We did go over budget here, but we made the mistake of not telling her our budget to begin with. She still worked with us though, and we brought the price down. Plus, she substituted my favorite flowers at the last minute... gotta love that!
Your photographer is one of the most important vendors of the wedding, if not the most important. Find one who will do the style of photos you want, and meet with them beforehand, to make sure they get "you," and your theme. Discuss the day with them, and the timeline, to make sure it works, and tell them all the important things you want in your photos. Give them a list of shots you want, but realize that if you look too forced/posed, those shots may not really be what you want. Be sure that in the contract, you have a date nailed down for when you receive your proofs, and that they will also give you digital copies of all the pictures. I'd also recommend (though my whole life I wanted the traditional first look to be at the church) you get most of your pictures done before the wedding. You will be so much more relaxed knowing those are done, and your guests won't wait forever for you. Haven't we all been there?! I felt so much better knowing all the important shots were done, and we still had special "first-look" pictures. But that still didn't spoil coming down the aisle. That moment will be incredible no matter what. In addition, I think it calmed me to be able to spend time with Hband before the ceremony. Consider it.
I would suggest getting a hotel suite with your bridesmaids the night before the wedding. It is so nice not having to clean up, and you'll all be together and have two bathrooms for getting ready. I've done that for three weddings (including my own), and it's been SO relaxing.
Don't do anything extreme before your wedding. If you're normally not tan, don't get a real or fake tan. Don't cut your hair short. Don't remove every bit of body hair. Make sure you look like you for your wedding. I was really grateful I tried out the fake tan a week and a half before my wedding. It looked OK, but too dark for me, in January. It was still wearing off on my wedding day.
If you do your own makeup every day and it looks nice, you can probably do your own on your wedding day. Buy some makeup and practice (it's fun). Find a look that's natural, but stepped-up a notch. You'll want to make sure you have good foundation. The pictures may wash you out a bit, so be sure you do wear good makeup, but don't go too dark. Experiment and take pictures of yourself. Don't make your eyes too dark or you'll look like a skeleton.
On the day of, don't sweat anything. Let other people take care of things. You just show up where you're supposed to be, and remember the end game: if the day ends and you're married, it's a success. Take mental snapshots the whole day so it isn't a blur. Especially, just before you walk down the aisle, choose to remember that moment. I remember the day very clearly because I chose to, and I'm so thankful I did. It was the best day ever!
We thought that the vows were one of the most important parts of our ceremony, considering that's what we were promising to each other. So we took the shell of the vows and then augmented them to say exactly what we wanted to promise. I encourage you to do the same. They weren't trite or cheesy-- they were straight from Scripture. Maybe someday I'll post them here. Perhaps you'd like them.
If you're going away for your honeymoon, don't get a flight the night of your wedding. Spend the night in a nice hotel close to your reception first. You'll be more refreshed in the morning. It's worth it!
You probably wont' eat much. I didn't believe that and didn't want to believe that (we had good food at our reception), but it's true. I hardly ate, but I wasn't hungry. Just be sure you eat a light breakfast and a light lunch (protein!), and hydrate-- drink lots of water! You'll be starving after the wedding and will probably eat leftovers with your hands in your hotel room like we did... or not.
Get out on the dance floor and enjoy every song. It is so worth it and you'll have a lifetime of memories.
Be sure to set up a time and place to say goodbye to your parents at the end of the reception. My parents live out-of-state, so I wanted to make sure I said goodbye instead of having a Father of the Bride moment. I actually got to hug each of my out-of-town relatives goodbye, and that specified time for our parents and bridal party was sweet.
When vendors tack the word "wedding" onto anything, it instantly adds more cash. Try to avoid wedding stuff and just get stuff. If a giant, gorgeous cake isn't super important to you, then get a small cake from a grocery store to cut and freeze for you, and sheet cake for everyone else. Do you really think they'll care? A pretty cake is amazing sometimes, but it doesn't last. To me, it was one of the least important details, and cost us $20. I regret nothing.
Don't over-estimate your DIY abilities. I consider myself pretty crafty, but even I had to draw the line somewhere my sanity was more important than saving a bit of cash.
Borrow, borrow, borrow! Talk to anyone and everyone in your life and borrow all you can for decorations. Buying everything yourself will not only be hard on your wallet, but you'll end up with TONS of stuff you can't get rid of.
Choose bridesmaid dresses quickly, and if you give your bridesmaids free reign to find their own dresses, don't be too picky. Remember, they're paying a lot to be your bridesmaid, and even though you can't always help how expensive dresses can be, you can try to make their lives easier.
Remember this day is special, but it really isn't all about you. It's about you and your fiance, but more importantly it's about what God has done. Keep focus.
I told my mom a few times that it was "my wedding," which was true, but she reminded me that though it was my wedding, it was sort of a big thank you to everyone who had ever meant anything to me, so I had to think of my guests. She was right. You can't cater to every guest, but do all you can to make sure they're taken care of and are comfortable.
Limit your registry to two places. I recommend Bed, Bath, and Beyond. They are amazing! I hear Target can be annoying, and I found JC Penney to be annoying. Perhaps another good choice would be Amazon? It's more customizable, anyway. Tweak the list at home online, and be sure to have a wide price variety.
Don't save all your thank-yous until after the wedding. As gifts come in, make detailed lists, and write the thank yous as you go. Writing one thank you takes maybe 2 minutes. Writing 150 takes lots of minutes. And DO send thank yous. It's a big faux pas not to. You want to be sure to show your gratefulness.
Either ask your in-laws to handle the rehearsal dinner, or make it as low-key as possible. You don't want it to rival the reception, and it's just supposed to be a relaxing celebration before the big day.
Do not let your wedding define you. It is ONE day. Your marriage is infinitely more important, so invest more in that than the wedding day.
Think about what traditions you want to incorporate: a special prayer? A fun song? Part of your mom's wedding dress? A special wedding has special details. Think about those things.
Check out websites like ruffledblog.com, where you can buy and sell used wedding stuff; it's like a wedding Craigslist.
Be sure you have some kind of guest book, whether it's traditional, a photo book, a fingerprint tree, or whatever. You'll want it in the future.
Put someone in charge of giving you all the cards at the end of the night. You'll have some cash for your honeymoon and can plan how you'll spend your wedding money!
You will only get married this one time, so do think about all the things you've always wanted. Some will happen and some won't, but you don't want to wish you'd done something differently.
Pray. Start praying about your day now, and don't stop.
Breathe. It will be fine, and you will get married.
xoxo, A
I should have written this when the event was fresher, but as it is, I'm not even three months into my marriage yet, so I'd say that's fairly fresh. I mean, if I was a can of beans, I wouldn't have even come close to my max shelf life. That's fresh. Oh dear. Anyway, I made it through wedding planning. I survived my wedding. I returned alive from my honeymoon. So I'd say that's a success. After living through that, and well, you know what they say about hindsight, I have a few tips for those planning and executing all the festivities involved in a wedding. Ready, set, go (warning-- this is a long one!):
You will probably feel overwhelmed at first. Your first step should be to find out who is contributing what to the wedding, and develop a budget. Decide which things are most important to you, and spend more money on those. The reception will most likely take up 1/3 to 1/2 of your budget. I allocated more money to photography because that was one of the most important things to me. Also, when you are assuming how much things will cost, always assume higher. Then you'll be pleasantly surprised. And be sure you list every possible cost you can think of-- even down to little gifts for those who help you, and the gifts for your minister, musicians, etc. Don't cheap out and not acknowledge those who help you. We couldn't pay much for musicians, so we asked friends to do it. We couldn't afford to give them large gifts, but we did give them a small, thoughtful gift, and acknowledge our thankfulness for their talent and time because it was valuable to us. Seriously, don't cheap out on your friends.
Stick to that budget. You will go over in some areas of your budget, but then you'll come in under in other areas. But if you go over in every single one, your $10,000 wedding will soon be a $20,000 wedding. Don't forget random things like dress cleaning and preservation and thank you notes.
After you have a budget, think about the feel you want your wedding to have. Ours was soft, cozy, and intimate, which made me think of soft, neutral colors and lots of candles. We built our theme around that.
You must have some kind of bulletin board/workspace to collect pictures and ideas. I loved Pinterest, because I could search for things and collect them on a virtual bulletin board, and they had so many DIY ideas! It also helped my mom and others get the concept I was going for.
Even if you can't draw, sketch out what you want the tables to look like, or anything else-- cake, dress, etc. It's always easier for others to catch your vision if they can actually see it.
Have a few working themes you'd like (different colors, etc.) and run them past your fiance. He might not care, or he'll want to be really involved. Hopefully he'll be like Hband and just want you to have the wedding of your dreams. :) This will also help in case the wedding venue you book doesn't quite fit the theme you want-- you'll have other options.
If it's in your budget, get a wedding planner. I'm not talking J.Lo, here-- she doesn't have to be terribly expensive. A wonderful woman at our church has her own wedding planning business, and she does a wonderful job at a fantastic price. Not only did she help me plan and organize beforehand, but on the day of the wedding, she was priceless-- she got everyone where they needed to be, and we had no disasters!
Do lots and lots of Internet research before you visit places. Your time is valuable, and gas prices are high. View venues online and call/email for pricing before you visit, and narrow your choices down to five or fewer. Then if you don't like any of those, expand your search.
Realize you can haggle with venues. Tell them your budget and ask them what they can do to meet it. We opted out of the bar package (saved TONS), and even though some family members moaned about it a bit, there was an in-house bar and they helped themselves. They also worked with us to bring the food and beverage minimum down, and that was fantastic. Don't be afraid to haggle and discuss-- they have an employee whose job it is to do that and work with you. Just don't be unreasonable. Also, realize the initial price they quote you might not include tax or gratuities, which can be $1,000 more than the quoted price. Get the full picture.
Make lists, lists, lists! Make a list of every single thing you can think of that needs to be done, and rejoice when you start crossing them off the list! Invite a friend over to help you with this, because two minds are better than one. Write in deadlines for yourself, too. Make a list of every song you want in the wedding and at the reception, and for what event. Make a list of every single person you can think of who can help set up at each venue/take things from the ceremony to the reception/take back tuxes, etc. For each thing that needs to be done, find a friend to do it. Be sure those friends are willing to help, though. And give them a printed list of their responsibilities via email. Make a detailed timeline of the day before the wedding through till when you leave the reception. Try to include everything. It will help you not forget anything. Make a list of every gift you need to give. This is what saved my sanity most: lists!
When you go try on dresses, don't try on anything outside your price range, unless you're prepared to go over budget. Boy do I know what this is like. You will inevitably fall in love with a dress that's $300+ more than you budgeted, and you will have to have it. Maybe you'll be able to make it work, or maybe you'll go way over budget. Just ask the woman helping you to only bring you dresses within your price range. Also, don't be afraid to try on other styles than what you think you want. I originally wanted something very simple and streamlined. I ended up with a simple dress, but it was more of a ballgown-- everyone said they never would have guessed I'd pick that dress. And don't forget, your veil will be expensive. Either be prepared for that, borrow a friend's, or make your own.
Also realize you will probably need your dress altered-- at least hemmed. Do your research and find a tried and true tailor or seamstress in your area. I had a friend get married about seven months before me, and she loved her tailor. I tried him and not only was he unbelievably good, but his price was far more reasonable than anywhere else, for three fittings. We actually overpaid him on purpose because it was worth it and we were so grateful.
Find a florist who will work with your budget and catches your vision. The last thing you want is a florist who doesn't get your theme/look, and you wind up with flowers that you don't love. My florist immediately caught my vision and ran with it. She invested herself in my wedding and saw it as a chance to be creative, and I ended up with fantastic flowers that I loved. We did go over budget here, but we made the mistake of not telling her our budget to begin with. She still worked with us though, and we brought the price down. Plus, she substituted my favorite flowers at the last minute... gotta love that!
Your photographer is one of the most important vendors of the wedding, if not the most important. Find one who will do the style of photos you want, and meet with them beforehand, to make sure they get "you," and your theme. Discuss the day with them, and the timeline, to make sure it works, and tell them all the important things you want in your photos. Give them a list of shots you want, but realize that if you look too forced/posed, those shots may not really be what you want. Be sure that in the contract, you have a date nailed down for when you receive your proofs, and that they will also give you digital copies of all the pictures. I'd also recommend (though my whole life I wanted the traditional first look to be at the church) you get most of your pictures done before the wedding. You will be so much more relaxed knowing those are done, and your guests won't wait forever for you. Haven't we all been there?! I felt so much better knowing all the important shots were done, and we still had special "first-look" pictures. But that still didn't spoil coming down the aisle. That moment will be incredible no matter what. In addition, I think it calmed me to be able to spend time with Hband before the ceremony. Consider it.
I would suggest getting a hotel suite with your bridesmaids the night before the wedding. It is so nice not having to clean up, and you'll all be together and have two bathrooms for getting ready. I've done that for three weddings (including my own), and it's been SO relaxing.
Don't do anything extreme before your wedding. If you're normally not tan, don't get a real or fake tan. Don't cut your hair short. Don't remove every bit of body hair. Make sure you look like you for your wedding. I was really grateful I tried out the fake tan a week and a half before my wedding. It looked OK, but too dark for me, in January. It was still wearing off on my wedding day.
If you do your own makeup every day and it looks nice, you can probably do your own on your wedding day. Buy some makeup and practice (it's fun). Find a look that's natural, but stepped-up a notch. You'll want to make sure you have good foundation. The pictures may wash you out a bit, so be sure you do wear good makeup, but don't go too dark. Experiment and take pictures of yourself. Don't make your eyes too dark or you'll look like a skeleton.
On the day of, don't sweat anything. Let other people take care of things. You just show up where you're supposed to be, and remember the end game: if the day ends and you're married, it's a success. Take mental snapshots the whole day so it isn't a blur. Especially, just before you walk down the aisle, choose to remember that moment. I remember the day very clearly because I chose to, and I'm so thankful I did. It was the best day ever!
We thought that the vows were one of the most important parts of our ceremony, considering that's what we were promising to each other. So we took the shell of the vows and then augmented them to say exactly what we wanted to promise. I encourage you to do the same. They weren't trite or cheesy-- they were straight from Scripture. Maybe someday I'll post them here. Perhaps you'd like them.
If you're going away for your honeymoon, don't get a flight the night of your wedding. Spend the night in a nice hotel close to your reception first. You'll be more refreshed in the morning. It's worth it!
You probably wont' eat much. I didn't believe that and didn't want to believe that (we had good food at our reception), but it's true. I hardly ate, but I wasn't hungry. Just be sure you eat a light breakfast and a light lunch (protein!), and hydrate-- drink lots of water! You'll be starving after the wedding and will probably eat leftovers with your hands in your hotel room like we did... or not.
Get out on the dance floor and enjoy every song. It is so worth it and you'll have a lifetime of memories.
Be sure to set up a time and place to say goodbye to your parents at the end of the reception. My parents live out-of-state, so I wanted to make sure I said goodbye instead of having a Father of the Bride moment. I actually got to hug each of my out-of-town relatives goodbye, and that specified time for our parents and bridal party was sweet.
When vendors tack the word "wedding" onto anything, it instantly adds more cash. Try to avoid wedding stuff and just get stuff. If a giant, gorgeous cake isn't super important to you, then get a small cake from a grocery store to cut and freeze for you, and sheet cake for everyone else. Do you really think they'll care? A pretty cake is amazing sometimes, but it doesn't last. To me, it was one of the least important details, and cost us $20. I regret nothing.
Don't over-estimate your DIY abilities. I consider myself pretty crafty, but even I had to draw the line somewhere my sanity was more important than saving a bit of cash.
Borrow, borrow, borrow! Talk to anyone and everyone in your life and borrow all you can for decorations. Buying everything yourself will not only be hard on your wallet, but you'll end up with TONS of stuff you can't get rid of.
Choose bridesmaid dresses quickly, and if you give your bridesmaids free reign to find their own dresses, don't be too picky. Remember, they're paying a lot to be your bridesmaid, and even though you can't always help how expensive dresses can be, you can try to make their lives easier.
Remember this day is special, but it really isn't all about you. It's about you and your fiance, but more importantly it's about what God has done. Keep focus.
I told my mom a few times that it was "my wedding," which was true, but she reminded me that though it was my wedding, it was sort of a big thank you to everyone who had ever meant anything to me, so I had to think of my guests. She was right. You can't cater to every guest, but do all you can to make sure they're taken care of and are comfortable.
Limit your registry to two places. I recommend Bed, Bath, and Beyond. They are amazing! I hear Target can be annoying, and I found JC Penney to be annoying. Perhaps another good choice would be Amazon? It's more customizable, anyway. Tweak the list at home online, and be sure to have a wide price variety.
Don't save all your thank-yous until after the wedding. As gifts come in, make detailed lists, and write the thank yous as you go. Writing one thank you takes maybe 2 minutes. Writing 150 takes lots of minutes. And DO send thank yous. It's a big faux pas not to. You want to be sure to show your gratefulness.
Either ask your in-laws to handle the rehearsal dinner, or make it as low-key as possible. You don't want it to rival the reception, and it's just supposed to be a relaxing celebration before the big day.
Do not let your wedding define you. It is ONE day. Your marriage is infinitely more important, so invest more in that than the wedding day.
Think about what traditions you want to incorporate: a special prayer? A fun song? Part of your mom's wedding dress? A special wedding has special details. Think about those things.
Check out websites like ruffledblog.com, where you can buy and sell used wedding stuff; it's like a wedding Craigslist.
Be sure you have some kind of guest book, whether it's traditional, a photo book, a fingerprint tree, or whatever. You'll want it in the future.
Put someone in charge of giving you all the cards at the end of the night. You'll have some cash for your honeymoon and can plan how you'll spend your wedding money!
You will only get married this one time, so do think about all the things you've always wanted. Some will happen and some won't, but you don't want to wish you'd done something differently.
Pray. Start praying about your day now, and don't stop.
Breathe. It will be fine, and you will get married.
xoxo, A
3.19.2012
wedding snapshot edits... long overdue!
wedding snapshots:
some favorites of the day
all photos taken by Cristiana Ware of Warehouse Studios, edited by me on Picnik (soon to close, *sniff*)... not that any needed editing.
xoxo, A
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