I'm Anti- Princess.

I grew up in what I like to think of as Disney's golden age. I know every word of every single song from The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and Aladdin, in addition to most of the others before and after. To make my love of these Disney movies clear, let me tell you how I spent much of my elementary years: I collected Beauty and the Beast trading cards, slept on Beauty and the Beast sheets, played with my TWO sets of Beauty and the Beast Barbies, along with my Jasmine and Esmeralda Barbies, too. There is not a single part of me that to this day doesn't love most things Disney and all things Beauty and the Beast. I love the princesses. I love it all.

But I will not ever refer to my daughter as "Princess."

Some of you may call your daughters, nieces, etc. "Princess," but I just can. not. do. it. I can't stomach it.

In my mind, princesses are wonderful for dress up, Disney, Barbies, and pretend. Who doesn't love a good dress-up session and a tiara? But in reality, there are few things I hate more than a girl (or worse-- a woman!) with a princess complex.

I've felt this way for years. I recall a friend in high school cheekily giving me a gift of a throw pillow that was pink camouflage, emblazoned with the word "princess." They knew then what my husband knows now: I loathe the princess complex.

Here's why:
1. Often, girls who grow up hearing they're a princess tend to think a little much of themselves. Girls should believe they're beautiful, smart, valuable, and talented without thinking they're someone who deserves some kind of special treatment. They sometimes begin to expect a certain level of attention and admiration from everyone. I'm sorry, but if you're not Princess Kate, you're not getting princess treatment from me, anyway.

2. Sometimes girls with the princess complex feel the need to be rescued and/or romanced by their Prince Charming. Not realistic. Not healthy. Girls are valuable on their own. They are strong, smart, and brave, and if God blesses them with a husband (who will not be a prince and not always be charming), then they'll have a partner to live life with. But if they don't, they're still capable of a rich, full life.

3. Being a princess implies that others are not. We can't all be princesses, can we? Some of us must be commoners, after all. Those with the princess complex sometimes choose who the "commoners" are and make them feel as such. Mean girls, you know who you are.

4. I don't think girls need to be told they are something they're not (like "Princess," which also sounds like a poodle's name-- just saying.). I think girls should be told often what they actually are: fearfully and wonderfully made; works-in-progress; sinners with an opportunity to be saved by grace; made in God's image; valuable; servants for God.

So please don't call my daughter "Princess." She's not a princess, but she is beautifully crafted by God to use her abilities to glorify Him. Believe me, I'm sure we'll have plenty of princess playtime... but that doesn't mean she has to be a princess. Thank goodness. Now don't hate me... remember all the Disney paraphernalia?!?! :)

xoxo, A

Never Once

I don't know if any of you struggle with trust the way I do. Seems like my whole life is one big lesson of trusting in God's faithfulness. That's not a bad thing, but I wish I were quicker to remember God's faithfulness and slower to worry about the future.

There's one song about this I've been singing to myself a lot lately. I find it tremendously encouraging, and I hope you'll find it encouraging as well. It's "Never Once," by Matt Redman.

It seems to me it's written from the point of view of those at the end of things, when Christ returns to Earth in victory. But even if it's not-- even if it's just about the battles in our lives-- I just love it. Can't get through it without crying.

Ponder this:

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You can listen to it here.

xoxo, A

It's a Girl!

It's a girl. :)

After waiting for what seemed like forever but was actually 15 weeks, we finally got to find out the gender of our little one.

I don't know if there has ever been a time where I've waited with as much anticipation. It was different from moving or getting married, because there was nothing I could do about it. I've heard it said that finding out the gender of your child is one of the few true surprises in your life, and I can say with certainty that it's true. It didn't matter what old wives' tale I heard-- there was no way for us to know until that ultrasound.

As I drove to my appointment, I thought about what I would want to teach my child, depending on its gender. If it would be a boy, I'd want to teach him to respect women, keep his eyes, mind, and body pure, and to be a diligent worker. If it would be a girl, I'd want to teach her to be comfortable with her body, have a strong, witty mind, and respect herself.

I felt such nervous anticipation! Honestly, Mike and I thought it might be a boy. I don't have any reason for that, and not even that motherly hunch some get. We just thought it might be. And truthfully, we hoped for that, because we want to make sure the Arbia name carries on. We were excited and prepared for either, however, knowing that the child we have is the precise child God has picked out for us.

We saw her cute little profile, and it kind of took my breath away. The last time I saw her, she was a tiny little gummy bear with wiggling legs. Now-- now she really looked like a little person. The technician called her strong and scrappy. She showed us her working heart, strong spine, and how she'd grab her feet with ten little toes. We thought she'd never tell us. Until she did.

I grabbed Mike's hand and my eyes started to tear up. I didn't make a sound, but somehow the technician knew. She passed me a tissue. I couldn't help but get misty eyed: we could finally call our baby "she," which is infinitely more real than "it." And she is ours.

I'm halfway through the pregnancy now. It's nice to have direction, not just for planning purposes, but for dreaming purposes. Dreaming of this little girl and who she'll be, what she'll look like, what I'll teach her... now it feels real.

I'm sorry for the post entirely about the baby, but wow... I just had to share today's emotions.
xoxo, A