I don't want to mislead anyone; I know the title of this blog sounds like a potential Kelly Clarkson song about yet another relationship down the tubes.
But that's not what this post is about. This post is about the fact that, despite what the single woman's heart secretly sometimes believes, you will not miss the one God has for you.
This goes out to you single women. I was in your shoes for a long time, and not so long ago. So don't roll your eyes, thinking Oh sure, it's easy for you to talk about singleness now that you're married. I remember my singleness clearly-- the pain, the waiting, the trusting.
I don't know when I realized this truth, but it was sometime before I started dating Hband. My whole adult life I had been waiting for the man God had for me. Waiting, trusting, doubting, trusting... a never-ending cycle for 26 years. Suddenly it made sense to me: if I was in God's will (and I believed I was-- I was following him, trying to obey), and I believed God was sovereign and had a plan (which I did), then I would not and could not possibly miss the right man.
I wouldn't turn the wrong corner and never run into him. I wouldn't lose him to some other woman. I wouldn't look too ugly for him to want me. Those things just wouldn't happen. There was nothing I could do to mess up what God had planned.
Because if I believed in God's sovereignty and faithfulness, I knew that nothing would thwart his perfect plan. At the right time, in the right place, and in the right way, I would meet my future husband.
You can't imagine the peace that gave me. It was all off my shoulders! I didn't have to spend hours making sure I looked "perfect." I didn't have to worry about those last ten pounds I couldn't shed. I didn't have to fret about putting myself out there. It was all in God's hands (where it belongs), and I only had the responsibility to be faithful to obey God and trust him. The rest will fall in line.
I won't say that that realization is what caused me to start dating Hband. I don't believe in those "if/then" mystical scenarios. Nothing that I could do would propel God's plan into action, as if he was waiting for me. but I do know that once I relaxed and allowed myself to trust God, my singleness didn't worry me nearly as much.
And before I knew it, suddenly a ministry acquaintance became a flirty friend, and that flirty friend became a boyfriend. That boyfriend became my fiance, and that fiance became my husband. And it was all exactly as God designed, in his perfect time and in the perfect way. It was better than I could have imagined. I still don't understand his timing. Why then? Why that way? But I don't need to understand his timing.
I hope that you will trust in God's timing and leave your singleness in his hands. Please relax and know that you'll never mess up God's plan and miss the one he has for you. Allow yourself to enjoy your singleness. I was able to recognize that it was a blessing-- a chance to be independent and free to do as I pleased: travel, spend time with others, focus on a career, and most importantly, devote myself to ministry. I truly hope you'll see it as a blessing too.
Meanwhile, I now apply this to having children. I don't want any now, or anytime soon (sorry Mom), but in the back of my mind, I worry about my age. I always wanted to be pregnant in my twenties, and done having babies in my early thirties. Then again, I used to want to get married at 22, and I'm SO glad that didn't happen. So now I'm learning that I won't mess up my children or my body because I'm older when I have kids. It will be exactly when and how God wants it. I can relax, knowing that when the time is right, it will happen (please Lord, let it not be for a while... a long while!), and my children will only have problems if God wants them to have problems.
It's funny how even though we move on to the next life event, the things we struggle with and learn tend to stay the same. But that's the beauty of it-- what we learn in the past will help us in the future. And here's to that big, bright, beautiful future. :)
xoxo, A
Showing posts with label devotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label devotions. Show all posts
3.22.2012
Thoughts for Thursday: I am NOT the Holy Spirit
And now we come to Thoughts for Thursday. Enjoy the thoughts:
It's really easy to spot sin in others, isn't it? It's not hard to determine when someone else is being impatient, letting their anger take control, acting selfishly, or being prideful. Of course, identifying those sins in our own lives is a little more difficult. That in and of itself is an indication of pride.
Regardless, if you spend any amount of time in close quarters with another individual, you'll see their sin and quickly. It doesn't matter if they're your roommate, your sibling, or your spouse; no matter how much you love them, and no matter how wonderful they are, they are going to sin and you are going to see it.
And if you're anything like I am, you're going to want them to fix it. Maybe it's for the right reasons-- because you want to see them overcome their sin and grow in their relationship with the Lord, ever maturing into the individual God wants them to become. Or maybe sometimes it's a more selfish reason-- you want them to be as perfect as possible so your environment can be as perfect as possible and your life will be easier.
Well that's a whole other bag of worms, isn't it?
Hband doesn't sin any more than I do, or even any differently than I do, but I've found myself in an argument with him more times than I'd like, sometimes because I've identified sin and won't relent in confronting it until he sees it too. And admittedly, this argument probably spawns and lingers from my self-righteousness and pride.
Confrontation isn't bad; in fact, if you never confront sin when you see it, that's a problem too. Woman up and say something in love. But the problem is my attitude and my unrelenting confrontation. The problem is, like my wise friend (and soon-to-be-bride) said, "I am not his Holy Spirit."
The Holy Spirit was given as a helper, with the purpose of sanctifying the believer and acting as a guide-- MORE than "conscience," since even unbelievers have a God-given conscience. He gives believers the ability to actually say "no" to sin. He is the one who brings conviction that inspires repentance. That is NOT me.
{John 14:16-18; 16:23-15; Romans 8:5-11, 13-16, 26-27}
My job isn't to relentlessly hound Hband or anyone else until they see their sin and repent. Why? Because Hband has the Holy Spirit, and He is working in my husband as much as he is working in me. It's my responsibility to point out sin in a loving way, but beyond that, it's between him and the Lord. Instead of all the energy I've spent arguing and convincing, perhaps I should apply that energy to identifying my own sin and repenting of it.
I think it's probably a control thing. I want to control my environment, and in order to that, I want to control Hband's behavior. But again, that's not my job. He has been placed by God as my authority, and one does not argue and relentlessly badger their authority; that is disrespectful. Besides-- he doesn't do that to me, and I'm JUST as sinful as he.
So... this is something about which I've been thinking over the last couple of days. I'm working out how I will learn this in a practical way. Any suggestions? Do you struggle with this? What has worked for you?
xoxo, A
It's really easy to spot sin in others, isn't it? It's not hard to determine when someone else is being impatient, letting their anger take control, acting selfishly, or being prideful. Of course, identifying those sins in our own lives is a little more difficult. That in and of itself is an indication of pride.
Regardless, if you spend any amount of time in close quarters with another individual, you'll see their sin and quickly. It doesn't matter if they're your roommate, your sibling, or your spouse; no matter how much you love them, and no matter how wonderful they are, they are going to sin and you are going to see it.
And if you're anything like I am, you're going to want them to fix it. Maybe it's for the right reasons-- because you want to see them overcome their sin and grow in their relationship with the Lord, ever maturing into the individual God wants them to become. Or maybe sometimes it's a more selfish reason-- you want them to be as perfect as possible so your environment can be as perfect as possible and your life will be easier.
Well that's a whole other bag of worms, isn't it?
Hband doesn't sin any more than I do, or even any differently than I do, but I've found myself in an argument with him more times than I'd like, sometimes because I've identified sin and won't relent in confronting it until he sees it too. And admittedly, this argument probably spawns and lingers from my self-righteousness and pride.
Confrontation isn't bad; in fact, if you never confront sin when you see it, that's a problem too. Woman up and say something in love. But the problem is my attitude and my unrelenting confrontation. The problem is, like my wise friend (and soon-to-be-bride) said, "I am not his Holy Spirit."
The Holy Spirit was given as a helper, with the purpose of sanctifying the believer and acting as a guide-- MORE than "conscience," since even unbelievers have a God-given conscience. He gives believers the ability to actually say "no" to sin. He is the one who brings conviction that inspires repentance. That is NOT me.
{John 14:16-18; 16:23-15; Romans 8:5-11, 13-16, 26-27}
My job isn't to relentlessly hound Hband or anyone else until they see their sin and repent. Why? Because Hband has the Holy Spirit, and He is working in my husband as much as he is working in me. It's my responsibility to point out sin in a loving way, but beyond that, it's between him and the Lord. Instead of all the energy I've spent arguing and convincing, perhaps I should apply that energy to identifying my own sin and repenting of it.
I think it's probably a control thing. I want to control my environment, and in order to that, I want to control Hband's behavior. But again, that's not my job. He has been placed by God as my authority, and one does not argue and relentlessly badger their authority; that is disrespectful. Besides-- he doesn't do that to me, and I'm JUST as sinful as he.
So... this is something about which I've been thinking over the last couple of days. I'm working out how I will learn this in a practical way. Any suggestions? Do you struggle with this? What has worked for you?
xoxo, A
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