Here are a just a few of the gems I've heard in the last couple of weeks:
"I'm allergic to my underwear."
{to the tune of "Santa Baby"} "Ginger baby, don't come down my chimney tonight."
{on the very last day of watching William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet} "The guy who played Romeo looked a lot like Leonardo DiCaprio."
"Would you be as scared of bugs if they could talk to you?"
"I'm abnormal."
The moral of the story: if you want to laugh/groan/shake your head every day, become a teacher. Every day is different!
xoxo, A
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
1.08.2013
My Most Embarrassing Moment
Would you like to hear a funny story? Of course you would. This is the story of what I consider my "most embarrassing moment," even though enough time has passed that I'm no longer embarrassed (hence my public re-telling). It now is simply one of the funniest stories of my life. Could be that it's a "had to be there" situation, but regardless, you'll probably at least appreciate the embarrassment factor.
I happened to think of this story during a lovely dinner with my friend Nicole. We used to go to college together and even were R.A.s together for two years (along with Bestie, Ashley, and Ilene... hi guys! :) ). We were reminiscing about how much we loved college, and this story came to mind. So, for your reading pleasure, I give you "Amanda's Most Embarrassing Moment:"
We were up in Wisconsin, maybe? It was R.A. retreat, about a week or so before the rest of the students arrived on campus. We R.A.s traveled up to a cute little camp on a lake and bonded, as well as prepared for the rigors of R.A.-hood when we returned to Chicago. R.A. retreat was always a blast. My particularly favorite activity was when 2nd year R.A.s pretended to break all sorts of rules and the 1st years had to confront them on it. Awesome. Well, the girls in my small group decided we'd go out on the "banana boat"-- a big inflatable monstrosity that was pulled behind a speed boat. It was the shape of a banana, with handles along the middle only, fitting maybe five in a line. The driver of this boat was notorious for getting out into the middle of the lake, and when everyone was comfortably speeding along behind him, he would yell "SWITCH!" and while the boat is still flying over the water, the passengers on the banana boat had to maneuver themselves into another position. Keep in mind, it was a banana shape. There was no room on the sides. I'm guessing most people just did a back flip over everyone and landed perfectly in another spot, because otherwise, HOW THE HECK DID PEOPLE DO THAT?! I got on this banana boat with one stipulation: I would NOT be switching when he yelled me to do so. I simply wouldn't. I didn't care if he stopped the boat. I didn't care if I was seen as a spoilsport. I would NOT be switching. Why? Because if I switched, I'd land promptly in the water and wouldn't be able to get back on the banana boat. I just knew it.
So we donned our life jackets and off we sped. I love boats, so it was quite invigorating and fun... until the driver yelled "SWITCH!"
"No. I'm not doing it," I yelled over the roar of the motor and the spray of the lake.
"Come on! Do it!" my girlfriends yelled as they were already switching, somehow miraculously NOT falling into the water.
Then suddenly, I was switching. I grabbed onto the one handle in front of my and attempted to do who knows what-- I just needed to get to another spot and FAST.
But then it happened. I slipped, and fell into the water. Only I didn't let go of the handle. So there I was, hanging onto the handle of the banana boat, going full speed around the lake, my body slapping against the water again and again like a rag doll. Of course the water was going against my body, which gave me the most lovely water wedgie as it shoved my bathing suit up my booty. I offered a full moon to anyone who was watching... including but not limited to the MALE R.A. in the boat.
This kept up for quite some time, or at least it felt that way, until one of my friends on the banana boat got the driver to stop the boat. At that point, laughing hysterically, my friends attempted to pull me by my life jacket back onto the banana. What happens when you are laughing hysterically? You have no strength. Imagine just how successful the pulling was, what with the silent laughter and all. Finally they pulled me up, I picked my wedgie, and we made our way back.
I think I didn't stop laughing about this incident for a good two weeks. I was mortified, but I was able to make a lot of people laugh, so it was worth it, right? Right?!
xoxo, A
I happened to think of this story during a lovely dinner with my friend Nicole. We used to go to college together and even were R.A.s together for two years (along with Bestie, Ashley, and Ilene... hi guys! :) ). We were reminiscing about how much we loved college, and this story came to mind. So, for your reading pleasure, I give you "Amanda's Most Embarrassing Moment:"
We were up in Wisconsin, maybe? It was R.A. retreat, about a week or so before the rest of the students arrived on campus. We R.A.s traveled up to a cute little camp on a lake and bonded, as well as prepared for the rigors of R.A.-hood when we returned to Chicago. R.A. retreat was always a blast. My particularly favorite activity was when 2nd year R.A.s pretended to break all sorts of rules and the 1st years had to confront them on it. Awesome. Well, the girls in my small group decided we'd go out on the "banana boat"-- a big inflatable monstrosity that was pulled behind a speed boat. It was the shape of a banana, with handles along the middle only, fitting maybe five in a line. The driver of this boat was notorious for getting out into the middle of the lake, and when everyone was comfortably speeding along behind him, he would yell "SWITCH!" and while the boat is still flying over the water, the passengers on the banana boat had to maneuver themselves into another position. Keep in mind, it was a banana shape. There was no room on the sides. I'm guessing most people just did a back flip over everyone and landed perfectly in another spot, because otherwise, HOW THE HECK DID PEOPLE DO THAT?! I got on this banana boat with one stipulation: I would NOT be switching when he yelled me to do so. I simply wouldn't. I didn't care if he stopped the boat. I didn't care if I was seen as a spoilsport. I would NOT be switching. Why? Because if I switched, I'd land promptly in the water and wouldn't be able to get back on the banana boat. I just knew it.
So we donned our life jackets and off we sped. I love boats, so it was quite invigorating and fun... until the driver yelled "SWITCH!"
"No. I'm not doing it," I yelled over the roar of the motor and the spray of the lake.
"Come on! Do it!" my girlfriends yelled as they were already switching, somehow miraculously NOT falling into the water.
Then suddenly, I was switching. I grabbed onto the one handle in front of my and attempted to do who knows what-- I just needed to get to another spot and FAST.
But then it happened. I slipped, and fell into the water. Only I didn't let go of the handle. So there I was, hanging onto the handle of the banana boat, going full speed around the lake, my body slapping against the water again and again like a rag doll. Of course the water was going against my body, which gave me the most lovely water wedgie as it shoved my bathing suit up my booty. I offered a full moon to anyone who was watching... including but not limited to the MALE R.A. in the boat.
This kept up for quite some time, or at least it felt that way, until one of my friends on the banana boat got the driver to stop the boat. At that point, laughing hysterically, my friends attempted to pull me by my life jacket back onto the banana. What happens when you are laughing hysterically? You have no strength. Imagine just how successful the pulling was, what with the silent laughter and all. Finally they pulled me up, I picked my wedgie, and we made our way back.
I think I didn't stop laughing about this incident for a good two weeks. I was mortified, but I was able to make a lot of people laugh, so it was worth it, right? Right?!
xoxo, A
4.20.2012
While I Was Sleeping
It has come to my attention that my husband is a troublemaker, and likes to make mischief. OK, so I knew that already. What I didn't know is that he would make mischief while I was sleeping. Here is an uncomprehensive list of recent events:
Last night, I woke up to him at the side of my bed, poking at me, while making a creepy face. There was no other purpose to this incident except to wake me up and have me see his creepy face. I think I said "Why would you DO that? I was SLEEPING!"
He just admitted to, after I wake up in the middle of the night, muttering under his breath to try to get me to say weird things (which I tend to do. Once I got mad at him because he didn't take the vegetables out and now they're going to explode.).
Sometimes, he'll slowly reach his hand across the bed, under the blankets, and then start to tickle me. When I'm trying to sleep. I hate it.
Also last night, I got back from a bathroom trip and I just knew he'd be up to something, because he was still awake. So I shone my phone on the bed, and sure enough, he was laying on my side, with his head UNDER my pillows. I don't know what the end game was there-- maybe have me go to lay down and then freak out? Or maybe he was just being weird.
Once I woke up to him poking my face.
He also told me he has touched my nose repeatedly, and I kept scratching my nose in my sleep.
Apparently, if it's nighttime and I'm asleep and Hband is bored, these are the kinds of things that happen. I just thought the world should know this man I've married. Is it any wonder that when I do wake up on my own at night, I think he did it on purpose and blame him for it? Because I do that. When I told him I was writing this blog post, he replied with, "You didn't have to marry me. You're lucky." To which I said, "Yes. Yes I am." :)
xoxo, A
Last night, I woke up to him at the side of my bed, poking at me, while making a creepy face. There was no other purpose to this incident except to wake me up and have me see his creepy face. I think I said "Why would you DO that? I was SLEEPING!"
He just admitted to, after I wake up in the middle of the night, muttering under his breath to try to get me to say weird things (which I tend to do. Once I got mad at him because he didn't take the vegetables out and now they're going to explode.).
Sometimes, he'll slowly reach his hand across the bed, under the blankets, and then start to tickle me. When I'm trying to sleep. I hate it.
Also last night, I got back from a bathroom trip and I just knew he'd be up to something, because he was still awake. So I shone my phone on the bed, and sure enough, he was laying on my side, with his head UNDER my pillows. I don't know what the end game was there-- maybe have me go to lay down and then freak out? Or maybe he was just being weird.
Once I woke up to him poking my face.
He also told me he has touched my nose repeatedly, and I kept scratching my nose in my sleep.
Apparently, if it's nighttime and I'm asleep and Hband is bored, these are the kinds of things that happen. I just thought the world should know this man I've married. Is it any wonder that when I do wake up on my own at night, I think he did it on purpose and blame him for it? Because I do that. When I told him I was writing this blog post, he replied with, "You didn't have to marry me. You're lucky." To which I said, "Yes. Yes I am." :)
xoxo, A
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