The Final Countdown

Partially because it’s in my nature, and partially because of the influence of my friend Kelly, I enjoy creating count-downs to big events. Before my wedding, I knew exactly how many days until the Big Day. I know there are seventeen days left until my due date. And I know that there are seven school days left before I leave my job.

But this time, this countdown isn't necessarily one I’m looking forward to with joy. I’m joyful for the reason—I’m going to be a mom, which has always been my dream job. But I’m fundamentally sad, because I’m leaving the job that has had a major hand in shaping me into the woman I am today.

I’ve devoted seven years of my life to Lakeside Christian School. I taught third grade (!), middle school English, 9^th-10^th grade English, and middle school and high school girls’ Bible. I grew in my teaching style, my classroom management, and my rapport with students. I was challenged, angered, proud, excited, exhausted, entertained, surprised, annoyed, and delighted, in no particular order.

I’m leaving a job that was different every day. I’m leaving a job where students cared enough to tell me about their lives, share their stories, deliver their jokes, cop their attitudes, and change their minds. I’m leaving a job where co-workers are friends and administration can be trusted. I’m leaving a job where I’ve seen students have “aha” moments and grow academically, spiritually, socially, and physically.

Essentially, I’m leaving all I’ve known for the last seven years. What used to be so unfamiliar and prickly has become home—yes, even here in the swampy Florida heat that I detest so much. It was never Florida that kept me here. It was always God impressing upon my heart that I needed to stay at LCS. LCS has kept me here. LCS was why I got involved in the youth group and met my husband. LCS employed my husband. LCS and my life will always be intertwined in a deeply personal way.

I’ll never forget when I told my students (via a game of hangman) that I was engaged, and a student ran into the hallway, shouting, “SHE GOT BLING!!!” I’ll never forget that some of my students attended my wedding, and their faces will forever be a part of my wedding photos. I’ll never forget their excitement, care, and concern through my pregnancy. How do I extract myself from something that has embedded itself so deeply into me?

I don’t know what this transition will be like. It’s a wonderful blessing that Little Miss Arbia will be born at the beginning of summer break, where it would feel natural to take a break from school anyway. But when school starts back up and I send Mike off to LCS in the morning… how will it feel? I have a feeling my daughter will take up so much of my heart and life that it will be easier than I anticipate. But as of right now, after everything, leaving just kind of makes my heart hurt.

So to all my students, know that it has been a privilege and joy. To my coworkers, it has been an honor. To my administrators, thank you for trusting me and caring for me. To my Lord, thank you for changing me through the lives of these precious people, and thank you for this little person who is forcing me to move on. LCS, you haven’t seen the last of me (I hope)!

xoxo, A

Samples of Things Teachers Hear On Any Given Day

Here are a just a few of the gems I've heard in the last couple of weeks:

"I'm allergic to my underwear."

{to the tune of "Santa Baby"} "Ginger baby, don't come down my chimney tonight."

{on the very last day of watching William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet} "The guy who played Romeo looked a lot like Leonardo DiCaprio."

"Would you be as scared of bugs if they could talk to you?"

"I'm abnormal."

The moral of the story: if you want to laugh/groan/shake your head every day, become a teacher. Every day is different!
xoxo, A

Overwhelmed.

Today, I expected an easy day in my classes-- they had quizzes and tests to do, and for once I got all of my teacher-type work done early.  I expected to be able to either work ahead or kick back a bit.

Oh, that was not how today went at all. 

Today I came into work with very little stress.  Hband had generously let me end our date night at 9:30 when I fell asleep watching "30 Rock."  Yeah, that's how our date nights roll: Little Caesar's pizza that we later regret and what was supposed to be a "30 Rock" marathon.  It ended after I couldn't keep my eyes open during the second episode.  So I got almost 9 hours of sleep last night, which is what I get if I'm lucky on a weekend night.  So waking up was a pleasure.  Going to school with a chill, holding my hot chocolate was a delight.  Heck, even standing outside for twenty minutes because of "morning duty" had its charms.

And then, I had my 6th period journalism class.

This year, I was assigned to teach journalism.  Awesome-- I love journalism.  You know what I don't love?  Having to be the yearbook advisor, which is what journalism is short for, I guess.  I had no background in composing a yearbook.  I didn't do it in high school.  All I knew was that when my dad created it all by himself, he'd be sitting at the dining room table, giggling to himself as he swapped heads and wrote in voice balloons.  I was pretty sure that's not how we'd be composing the yearbook.  To top it off, I also had to jump-start a school newspaper.

After I got the hang of it, it started going OK.  We were in a groove.

Then came the tsunami.  Suddenly a deadline is upon us and the students aren't ready.  I'm not ready.  The stupid photographers aren't ready because they haven't sent us the portraits.  I lost some paperwork.  I have a hundred questions.  I'm the one taking pictures because no one else takes initiative and I don't want them to have a crappy yearbook.

So I'm overwhelmed.  What I'd really like to do is let them take control.  Let them steer this sinking boat straight to the bottom of the ocean.  But I feel like I can't let them do that, because not only am I not guaranteed they'd learn anything about responsibilities, deadlines, creativity, or hard work, but it would let all the 7th-12th grade students down.

Why are teachers paid so poorly, again?

xoxo, A

What to Do?

Oh time.  How it has a way of getting away from me.  My intention was to pause my blogging for a week.  It's going to be longer than that.  School is ending, which brings a whirlwind craziness rivaled only by school beginning, and on top of that, I'm trying to prepare for a three- week trip that arrives in ONE week!  Then, throw in some friend time and other commitments, and suddenly blogging takes a back seat.  Not for forever, but for a little while.

At the end of a school year, I always re-think what I want to do with my life.  I do like teaching, but by this time in the year, I'm worn out and frankly, kind of don't want to speak to an adolescent for a while.  I love my students; if I didn't, I wouldn't still be teaching them.  But ten months of learned helplessness, laziness, and thick skulls is wearisome.

Last night I caught up with a good friend and, incidentally, the mother of Bestie and Bestie Jr.  She's kind of an adopted mom for me, and I cherish the time I get to spend with her.  I talked to her about how sometimes I just want to drop what I'm doing and start something completely new.  I was referring to my job, but I realized I do that when it comes to all sorts of projects.  I have lots of unfinished DIY projects lying around because I do just that: drop what I'm doing to start something new!  She told me if I wanted to, now is certainly the time to do it.  This time of life, that is.  It take courage to uproot your way of life.  Bestie's husband did it, and while it was painful at the time, he's now in his dream job.  But what would I do, she asked.  I've struggled with this issue for years.  There's a bit of restlessness in my spirit, knowing that God has some things for me to do, but WHAT and WHEN are the two burning questions.

I like teaching and seem to have a knack for it.  I'd like to pursue teaching at a college level someday.  Dream job=Moody prof, but that's unlikely.

I love to write, but on my time and my terms.  I think I'll make sure to set aside time to do that each week so I can continue to pursue that vein.  Maybe I won't get quite so many rejection letters this time.

Photography-- I'm an amateur with an amateur's camera, but perhaps an eye for artful photographs.  While I'll never be a big-time professional photographer, I'd like more opportunities to practice, and maybe after lots and lots of photo shoots, I'll be able to start making money!

I love decorating but I'm sure I couldn't make a career of it.  Ideally, I'd love to be one of those persons who sets up a home for selling-- like Amy Adams in Leap Year.  What a fun job!  But that is also unattainable, I fear.

These are things I could see myself doing and enjoying, when the time comes to change things up.  I keep thinking it will be soon, but God seems to keep telling us to stay put.  And that's fine.  But meanwhile, I'm trying to balancing contentment with that itchy restlessness that comes with knowing there's more for you to do...

And in a final note: one thing NOT on my list that will make it there someday: motherhood.  That's not on my dream job list right now.  It used to be, but at this point in time, that's going to have to wait.  Sorry, Mom! :)

xoxo, A