The Beauty of Christmas

I love the beauty of Christmas. In my house, everything is glittery, silver, and gold, with lots of twinkly lights. In my in-laws' house, there are lots of blue and green lights and fun Disney characters that play Christmas carols and my niece and I dance to them. In my parents' house, everything is classic Christmas for me: colorful tree with old ornaments that tell stories, and homemade cross-stitched stockings on the mantle.

I love the beauty of Christmas. Children are excited and the young ones feel a sense of wonder. Adults get giddy, picking out the perfect gifts. People are nicer and more generous. Miracles seem to happen.

I love the beauty of Christmas.
"Nails, spear shall pierce Him through;
The cross be borne for me for you.
Hail, hail the Word made flesh,
The Babe, the Son of Mary."
-- "What Child is This"

Merry Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, everyone. Enjoy the beauty of Christmas-- all of it.

xoxo, A

The Truths That Changed Us

All my life, I've had great ambitions. I've wanted to be a missionary to the ignored Europeans. I've wanted to be a famous fashion designer, an interior designer, and an actress. I still want to become a published writer. Some of those ambitions became reality: I became a teacher. I got married. And now, I'm going to be a mom. The two constant ambitions that never changed were becoming a wife and a mom. Though this world typically scoffs at a woman who chooses to invest her life in her husband and children, writing her off as naive, uncultured, uneducated, and wasteful, I think it is a high calling. It's not an investment in the economy or the arts (and those are wonderful, too); it's an investment in the future, and as a believer in Jesus Christ, it's an investment in eternity, too.

Just after I got married, however, the thought of having children literally made my stomach turn. I was (perhaps selfishly) perfectly content with just Mike and me. I loved our little, comfy life. Deep down, I still wanted kids, but not for a LONG TIME. Then we got a dog, and suddenly I had responsibilities. God started to change my heart and little by little, the idea of possibly having a child with my husband became an exciting (and scary) thought. I wasn't fully sold though. It never seemed like the "right time." I know what everyone tells you: "You'll never be financially ready." "There's never a good time or the right time to have kids." But I didn't want to be foolish. We both had steady jobs and a place to live, but those steady jobs brought in barely enough to live on, we lived in a one-bedroom apartment, and we were still paying off debt. But then suddenly God gave me a different perspective. While indeed there is a time and season for everything, and I'm a firm believer in learning how to simply be married before learning how to be married AND be a parent, God helped me see things from a more biblical perspective than the phrase, "we're waiting until the time is right." 

As I understand it, the Bible gives us three truths that apply to the question, "when should we have kids?" 

1. Our relationship to our husband/wife needs to be second only to our relationship with God.

2. Children are a gift from the Lord.

3. God promises to meet all of our NEEDS. 

Those simple truths helped Mike and me come to the decision that maybe we should just see what God has in store. Our relationship was solid, so knowing the other two truths helped us take that leap. And once we took a deep breath and decided to open ourselves up to the possibility of kids, a whole new ballgame began.

It was time to play the "what if" game. What if I'm too old? What if I have trouble getting pregnant? What if this process takes years and then I'm really too old? What if it simply doesn't happen? I found one other Biblical truth very helpful:

1. God is sovereign.

It could take years to get pregnant, or it could never happen. I didn't take it for granted. I know that every time a child is conceived, it is indeed a miracle, and I don't mean that in a trite way. So many things have to happen at the right time, in the right way for that life to begin. And then it's another miracle for that child to grow and survive in the womb. Never did I think it was a given that once we decided to have children, it would happen quickly and easily. I was prepared for the long haul.

And then God surprised me.

He decided not to have us wait; that wouldn't be our trial this time. For some, that's their trial with God and one way God is shaping them into His image. For us, it will be (and has been) other things. Five weeks after deciding to "see what happens," this happened:

This picture is precious to me, because I had literally, minutes before, found out that a miracle had happened. You can see the tears in my eyes and the surprised/happy/terrified look on my face. At this moment, God and I were the only ones who knew about this little life. Mike was at work at Publix and I was home alone, drenched in sweat because our AC had broken. It had been an awful day, and I took the test only because (in my bad attitude), I thought it would be one more reason to have a bad day, since I was sure it would be negative. In the past, I waited the full 2 minutes and squinted, just to be sure there was no vertical line. This time, that sucker showed right up. I didn't realize that there really can't be false positives on these tests, so I may or may not have taken two more, just to make sure.

Guess it was for sure. It was surreal, because I really hadn't thought it would happen so quickly. It was terrifying, because how were we going to be parents?! It was sweet, because God had done a miracle.

And now, I'm 16.5 weeks in. God has seen fit to sustain this baby thus far, and we are grateful. Nervous, still, but we know these truths, as well:
1. We have no reason to be terrified, since God is for us.
2. God has given us everything we need for life and godliness. That must include becoming parents.

Amazing how simple life becomes when we rest in the truths God has given us.

I don't know where you're at: maybe you're disinclined to have children for the same reasons we were. Maybe you want them but it's "not the right time." Maybe you deeply desire to have children but God hasn't chosen to allow that yet. Maybe you're going through the heartache of losing a child. Maybe you're in the process of adopting a child. Maybe your quiver is full of children. And maybe you're still waiting for the one that God has for you to share your life with and possibly have children with. Wherever you are, I hope that what my journey so far has shown you is that trusting these truths about God (and all the truths in His Word) help us to submit to His will and endure (and enjoy) whatever it is He has planned for us: whatever blessings or trials that are a part of our unique stories.

xoxo, A

Hi there.

Oops. It's been over 5 months since I've last posted here. Let's be generous and call it a sabbatical. In reality, for over a month my laptop wouldn't access Blogger for some reason, and then after that, life got really busy. Probably not as busy as you moms out there, but definitely busy for me. Here's what I've  neglected to share with you over the last 5 months (and photos from the summer):
June: a fantastic vacation with my family to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. It ranks up there as one of my favorite vacations ever, and Mike and I loved the area so much that we would live there if we could afford it.
July: a visit to Bestie's country home and doin' up the 4th right, and St. Augustine! Plus lots and lots of packing. And a quick surprise visit to Chicago to celebrate Grandma's 80th. It was ungodly hot.
August: quick surprise 30th bday trip to Texas to see my dearest, oldest friend (and some family). School began again, and even more packing. Work hadn't been this hard since my first year of teaching. I didn't have time to cry about it, let alone blog. Don't worry-- it's better now.

 Our view from our cabin!

 The Tetons!

 Waterfall!

 Buffalo!

 We were thisclose to this black bear!

 Yellowstone!

 Elk in the background!

 Hot Springs!

 Old Faithful erupting!

 Can you believe this is real life? The old Mormon row.

 This is real life, too!

 Lupines!

 My cowboy at the rodeo!

 That's Wyoming!

 With Bestie at St. Augustine!

  Aw!

 Grandma's surprise 80th birthday party!

 With Sarah at the Art Institute!

 With Alyx in Dallas, by the Book Depository!

 Where Kennedy was shot. :(

Family at Joe T. Garcia's!

September: we moved! We literally moved not even a mile-- in fact, we can see our apartment complex from our bedroom window. We now have two bedrooms and two bathrooms... hooray! At the end of this month, our lives changed more than we ever expected: I found out I was pregnant! More to come on that later...
October: tired. I was just really tired all the time, and feeling apathetic about fixing up our condo. I certainly didn't have the energy to blog. Then the nausea began... oh Lord. However, we got to see our little active baby for the first time at the end of this month, and we got to tell our Chicago family in person about our little one.
November: morning sickness, afternoon sickness, and evening sickness. The smell of anything made me gag. Talking made me gag. Our condo smelled worse than I could have ever imagined. Yeah... November kind of stunk. But Thanksgiving break was fantastic and just what the doctor ordered. Oh yeah, and that visit from Mom-- that was definitely what the doctor ordered.
December: this is where you find me now: nausea is waning (thank God!), appetite is returning (yum!), the house is festive, and I'm ready to return to Chicago for Christmas!

Whew. Now here's a freaky thought: five months from now, our baby will almost be here, and school will almost be over. How does time fly so quickly?!

xoxo, A

Samples of Things Teachers Hear On Any Given Day

Here are a just a few of the gems I've heard in the last couple of weeks:

"I'm allergic to my underwear."

{to the tune of "Santa Baby"} "Ginger baby, don't come down my chimney tonight."

{on the very last day of watching William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet} "The guy who played Romeo looked a lot like Leonardo DiCaprio."

"Would you be as scared of bugs if they could talk to you?"

"I'm abnormal."

The moral of the story: if you want to laugh/groan/shake your head every day, become a teacher. Every day is different!
xoxo, A

Soul-Sticking Music

Have you ever felt an instant connection to a song? You maybe catch a bit of it on the radio and after just a few bars, your heart quickens and you know you're going to love this song so much that it will instantly become part of your "forever playlist." Everyone has one, even if it's only in your head. What's on yours?

Mine has things like "You Are the Sunshine of My Life," by Stevie Wonder, "And I Love Her," by the Beatles, "Somewhere Only We Know," by Keane, and many more. What's on your list? Songs like that will always be among my favorites, and sometimes I add songs after the first taste.

That happened on Monday. I was leaving work to pick up my dog (yeah, Lucia gets dog-sat by my mother-in-law. If you had a puppy and lived in an apartment, you'd understand) and realized I was listening to a song I'd never heard before. After mere seconds, I literally whispered "wow," and knew I was going to love this song forever. It was a combination of the actual music, the voices, the lyrics, and mostly the harmony (I'm such a sucker for great harmony!). I immediately texted (at a stop light, folks!) Bestie. She had to hear this song. After all, the two of us worked on the harmony for a Les Mis song for hours years ago until we got it just right. Turns out I'm way behind the times. She and Bestie Jr. had been enjoying the song for a while now. Guess I should get Spotify? How do you discover new music? I don't discover new tunes until they show up on the radio or I get a free song on iTunes.

What is it about music that makes it just stick to your soul? Maybe it's just me, or maybe it's only the case if you're a music person. But I believe music uniquely connects to the soul, as much art does, but unlike modern media or anything like that. Music is special.

What is this song, you ask? It's "Just Give Me a Reason," from Pink's new album, featuring Nate Ruess. It's clean, and it feels very real. It seems like a relationship in which the woman fears problems and needs reassuring, and the man thinks everything is fine, and they're going to make it. I love how real it seems, and the emotion in their voices. Beautiful. Listen to it here. Enjoy and tell me what you think!

xoxo, A

Can It Be? The Perfect Steak?!

For Mike's birthday, we went to Outback. Good steak. Today, I made steak that I liked even better. Mike prefers his with that apple wood- smoked flavor, but I can't really do anything about that. We live in an apartment and have no grill or smoker or anything like that, though my apartment did get pretty smoky in this process. 

One of my 30 Before 30 things to do (I have been slacking on lots of them. For example, I haven't been taking a picture every day. Or a bubble bath once week.  Oh well.) was to "cook the perfect steak." That might not be a big deal to you, but I've botched several steaks. Mike loves steak, and I've gotten some great cuts from Publix and over-cooked them, under-cooked them and then microwaved them (eek.), or over-marinated them. So for me, cooking the perfect steak would be quite a feat.

I did a lot of research. I knew already that searing the meat and then roasting it would seal in the flavor the best. But there were lots of other methods. So I smooshed them all together and this is what I came up with, and it worked. My steak was crispy on the top and bottom, and perfectly medium in the center. It was oh-so- juicy and tender. Mike's was more like medium-rare, and he likes it more medium, but his was a thicker steak. So, if you are like me and struggle to make the perfect steak, try this. You may want to tweak it to make it your own, but this is what worked for me. Please picture me doing this all very quickly and frantically. Because that would be accurate.

Ingredients: 
A pound of sirloin, separated into two fillets (Mike's was thicker and bigger than mine). Get the good stuff.
Kosher salt
Fresh cracked pepper
Butter
Spray oil
Cast iron pan (regular oven-safe would probably work too, but maybe not as well).
Foil
Paper towels

1. First, bring your meat to room temperature. I had mine sitting out for maybe an hour. Don't worry- we cooked out any potential bacteria.
2. While that's warming up, bring your oven to 500 degrees with your cast iron pan inside, and turn a burner to medium-high (if it's electric like mine. If it's gas, maybe wait so you don't have open flame!).
3. When your oven is preheated, pat the meat dry with paper towels, spray a bit of spray oil onto them (so they don't stick to your hot pan), and season one side with kosher salt and cracked pepper. I was pretty liberal with it, but not crazy-style. 
4. Pull your very hot cast iron pan out of the oven and onto your already hot burner and drop a pat of butter in there so it sizzles. Be sure it gets all over the bottom of that skillet.
5. Put your steaks, seasoned- side down, in the skillet. DO NOT MOVE THEM. Leave them in place for one minute, and season the side that is up. When one minute passes, Use tongs to flip them over onto a part of the skillet that has butter on it. DO NOT MOVE THEM. 
6. After another minute, put them in the oven. When two minutes have passed, turn them over again.
7. After two more minutes, take the pan out of the oven, put one small pat of butter on each steak (optional), and cover with foil. Let it rest there, undisturbed, for another two minutes or so. It will continue to cook a bit as it rests, and the juices will settle in.
8. Eat and enjoy.

Keep in mind: Mike's steak was 1 1/2- 2 inches thick and turned out medium rare. Mine was about 1 inch thick and was perfectly medium. I suggest an additional 30 seconds for every 1/2 inch of steak. You can use the "OK Test" to determine how done your meat is if you don't have a good meat thermometer. Like me-- mine stinks. Put your forefinger and thumb together like the "okay" sign. The fleshy part under your thumb is what medium rare should feel like. If you use your middle finger and thumb, that part will feel like what medium feels like. If you use your ring finger, that's what medium well is like, and your pinky with your thumb is what well feels like. It works! 

So, try this out and tell me what you think! 

xoxo, A

Entitled

Do you ever feel like you deserve something? Maybe because you've been working hard, or reached a goal, or whatever? A bubble bath, a special trip to Chipotle, that outfit at Target-- you know what I'm talking about. I feel that way, sometimes. After a week of eating well, I deserve a donut, right? And after paying off  a credit card, I deserve a special purchase, right? (Just kidding, Mom-- I wouldn't do that!) This kind of mentality that I get myself into (partially with myself to blame, partially the media, and partially society), I've developed a sort of entitled attitude that I don't even consciously know exists, most of the time.

As a teacher, it's pretty evident that much of our youth are growing up with an entitled attitude. I never realized that as a part of this society, it's one of my downfalls, too. How did I realize this? Through a series of disappointments. Why was I disappointed? Because I felt like I deserved those things, so when I didn't get them, I was disappointed.

First, my parents (who were thinking about investing in a home here in Florida for Mike and me to rent from them) put an offer in on a great house. We didn't get it. Then, they put in an offer on an even better house, and we had a good chance of getting it. Then the owners backed out and decided to give it to charity. Um, okay then.  I was disappointed. If we had gotten this house, we could save an extra $200/month and get rid of our debt faster, thus allowing us to try to have a family sooner. Without this house, we stay in an apartment that has ridiculous neighbors and water bills, throw our money away monthly, and trudge along in our debt payment plan for another year, with no hope of changing our housing situation or family situation. In short, we're stuck.

But still- why was I disappointed? I have a wonderful husband that I had prayed so long for. We both have multiple jobs that allow us to live a comfortable life. We've been able to travel. We have a great church family and ministries we're involved in. So what's the problem, even if things aren't happening on my timetable?

The problem is, somewhere along the way I began to believe that I deserved to have a house, nice decorations, a yard, children, and a cushioned bank account. I don't deserve that, though. God often blesses people with those things, but I don't deserve them.

What I actually deserve is an eternity of separation from God in hell. Nothing less. By God's grace, he saved me from that through faith in Christ's sacrifice for my sin. That is enough. That is more than enough. Anything else is icing on the cake. Shelter of any kind? Icing. Food? That's chocolate icing. Clothes? Cream cheese icing. No matter what the world tells me, I do not deserve those "extra" things. If God blesses me with them, I can fully enjoy them... but I shouldn't expect them. Not, of course, because God isn't good, but because he knows so much more than I do. So on any given day, in any circumstance, I am always doing better than I deserve. And I really, really am trying to remember that.

xoxo, A

Body Image Smackdown

I have no idea if the title of this blog post is going to accurately reflect its contents. It doesn't matter. Anytime I have the chance to use the word "smackdown" in a blog post title, I'm going to. Maybe I'll also write "Lemon Crepe Cake Smackdown," too.

Maybe I'm the worst person to write about body image... or maybe I'm the best person to write about it. I'm not thin and have never been thin. I'm thinner now than I've ever been, but honestly, I like love to eat and I dislike hate working out. Combine that with a slowing metabolism, and you have a bonafide weight-struggler. Hi, my name is Amanda and I'm a weight-struggler. But somehow, as a chubby kid, I never fell into an eating disorder. How could that be? Somehow, I never thought I was "not _______ enough." How did I develop a healthy body image as a child, and why did it get worse as I got older? As I thought about it, here's what I came up with:

• It's not about the dolls I played with-- I played with Barbies and everything else and didn't compare myself to them.
• I have a distinct memory as a very young child, putting two halves of an Easter egg under my shirt, to resemble breasts. My mom didn't freak out. She just said, "You'll have those someday."
• I can't remember a single time in my childhood that I heard my mom complain about her body.
• When my mom did work out, it never interfered with our normal lives and wasn't a topic of conversation, except when my dad labeled her workout video "Belly Butt Boogie," and we laughed.
• My mom cooked good, healthy, satisfying, balanced meals and enjoyed them.
• I was accomplished in lots of things: academics, drawing, music, writing, and imagination. My body wasn't my focus.
• I had a positive male presence in my life who didn't emphasize physical beauty.

What I can infer is that body image is not necessarily developed by mini plastic mannequins, but by what is taught and modeled to little girls by their moms and dads. That's really what it comes down to. That's unfortunate for those without good parents, but fortunate for me. My body image began to change when I got older. That's when I heard a lot of girls complain about their bodies. That's when I read magazines that told me what had to be fixed about my appearance because they were unacceptable. I realized I wasn't the "ideal" weight. I had pounds to lose, incurable cellulite, and jiggly bits. My body image began to suffer. My background and God's grace was enough to protect me from eating disorders and making foolish decisions based on my insecurities. Nevertheless, since my early twenties, I've been battling a negative body image that I didn't have as a child. The following images are just some of the things I've found on Pinterest that threaten body image and kind of freak me out, too:

source

source

source

What's really been affected by my now struggling body image is my marriage. I know Mike loves me because he tells me so and he wanted to marry me and stay married to me. But because of my assumptions about what men find attractive, and my insecurities about my "imperfections," I seem to need affirmation-- something I never needed in the past. It's caused me to place expectations on my husband that he shouldn't have to meet. I've allowed my own body image to plummet because of what the media tells me I should be like.

The truth is, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. If I am healthy and not lazy or gluttonous, I'm doing just fine. Comparison is the thief of joy. I will always be chubby, always have cellulite, and always have jiggly bits. But I like who I am and how God made me.

Who does the world think it is, anyway, telling me what "perfect" looks like?!

I don't consciously think about body image all that often, but I'll bet it's in my head more than I realize (especially with the insurmountable piles of photos on Pinterest). Still, these thoughts about body image began yesterday, when I found this pin:

original blog post can be found here.

The post is by a mom who doesn't like seeing naked Barbies lying around the house; they disturb her. So she drew bathing suits on the dolls so her daughter can play with perpetually clothed Barbies. The idea in and of itself isn't a terrible one. I think I understand why she did it. But I do really disagree with her reasoning. She doesn't want her daughter to get negative ideas about body image, etc. from naked Barbies. I'm going to just go ahead and submit that drawing on a naked Barbie actually changes nothing about what that tiny mannequin looks like. Her breasts are just as pronounced, and they're putting molded undies on them now anyway (they're just flesh- colored, and I'll wager most women have flesh- colored undies too). And what about black Barbies? The sharpie coloring won't show up well. Does black Barbie look clothed simply because her skin isn't peach like white Barbie? Just saying.

Ultimately, it's not about the naked Barbies a little girl plays with that warps her body image. There is nothing wrong with human bodies. Let me pose this question: is there anything inherently wrong with nakedness? Answer: no. God created Adam and Eve naked and He called it good. I'm positive Adam called it good too. The only problem with nakedness is the sin that has tainted it. When sin is connected to nakedness, then it's a problem. Unfortunately, nakedness and sin have become pretty interwoven in our culture, which is why I probably won't have famous nude paintings all around my house. It's not because nakedness is bad, but because I don't want people weirded out or young men's minds going places it doesn't need to go. Unless naked Barbies cause your child (or husband/son?) to stumble, the only thing you're teaching your daughter by coloring bathing suits on them is that we should be ashamed of our bodies.

All this to say, I am not a mom, but I hope that when I am, I will do my best to foster an open, honest communication with my daughter about body image. I'll do my best to not complain about my body. I'll do my best to not make working out or healthy eating my idol. I'll do my best to praise her inward qualities, rather than focus on the physical. I'll do my best to not comment on the looks of others. And I'll do my best to combat the lies that the media throws at girls that they have to look "perfect."

And in closing, let me just say that I love Tina Fey. We do not agree politically or religiously, but she one of the most brilliant, intelligent, lovely, insanely funny and witty people of this generation, or ever. I like many of the things she's said about body image. One I love, and will leave you with today, is a quote from her book, Bossypants. I read it last summer on the cruise and it had me both laughing and thinking the whole time. The brackets are mine, to avoid language that might offend.

“...I think the first real change in women’s body image came when JLo turned it butt-style. That was the first time that having a large-scale situation in the back was part of mainstream American beauty. Girls wanted butts now. Men were free to admit that they had always enjoyed them. And then, what felt like moments later, boom—Beyoncé brought the leg meat. A back porch and thick muscular legs were now widely admired. And from that day forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Ah ha ha. No. I’m totally messing with you. All Beyonce and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful. Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall [butt], long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll [breasts]..."

There is no "perfect," unless you understand that God's design for your body was and is perfect. And coloring on Barbie dolls won't help a little girl understand that without proper teaching.

xoxo, A

Childless at 29

When I have moments of forgetfulness and begin to panic because I'm not going to have a child in my twenties, I think things like this:

"I'm going to be an old mom. That sounds awful. I won't be able to do anything with my kids."
"What if my children suffer from birth defects because I'm old?"
"My body will be in even worse shape than in would normally after pregnancy because my skin will be old and not as elastic, and my metabolism will be slower."
"What if I wait too long and I just can't even have kids?"
"What if my parents aren't around long enough to see my children grow up, just because I've waited so long?"

...And other assorted gems. All of these things may very well be true. But the bottom line is that God is in control over when or even IF I have children, and His timing is perfect, just as it was in bringing me a husband late in the game (in my opinion, anyway).

But I do struggle. Many of my classmates from college have anywhere from one to three children, and here I am, all like, Can we just pay off our debt already and make enough money for me to quit working and have babies? I see young married couples exploding with baby-filled joy, and all I can think is, How the heck are you doing that? Just married and now a baby on the way? Must be nice to have the freedom to do that. Must be nice to not worry about being too old to have children. Must be nice to be able to afford to stay home. So then I compare and start to get jealous, and that's no good. I do wonder sometimes though, why God has chosen to not change anything about our lives so that having children would be feasible in the near future.  Still, I know the truth and I know how I should be thinking. It's just hard to not feel my chest grow tight and my eyes well up when yet another friend announces her pregnancy. I've always felt behind, and even after marriage I feel that way. I'm not trying to be insensitive-- I know many friends who are struggling with infertility, and those who aren't yet married and yearn to be and feel even farther behind. I think of your struggles too. We all have our unique struggles, and this is mine.

But on the flip side, some well-meaning friends post incessantly about their children, as if their personal lives have ceased to exist. Is that what happens with motherhood? When I see that kind of stuff, or I see how "tied down" (I know they wouldn't call it that, because they enjoy it and someday I will, too) they've become, a new kind of panic sets in and I'm suddenly very thankful that I'm childless. It's probably that I'm just really selfish, but I like being me, and I like when it's Mike and me, and I like traveling. I like popping over to the mall just because I can.

So what do I do to make myself feel better when I begin to feel panicked that I am still childless at 29? I remember all that I've gotten to do in my twenties. I finished college, went on a month-and-a-half long European backpacking trip with three girlfriends, took a chance and moved to Florida with Bestie, got to be roommates with Bestie, took road trips to Texas, Tallahassee, and Key West, lost 30 pounds, bought a new wardrobe, moved into my own apartment and decorated, learned how to cook and bake (and well!), developed my photography skills, visited Maine, Boston, Chicago, and New York, got involved politically, worked in the youth group, got engaged and married the love of my life, went to Israel, went on a Mediterranean cruise, and still yet will go to Wyoming. I have had many adventures. I enjoyed my single years and my early years with Mike. I have reveled in my independence. I have squeezed every last drop out of life.

What does that mean? It meas I'll have some pretty awesome stories to share with my kids someday, even if I'm old. And I won't regret anything, because I spent my youth on adventures. We're not guaranteed tomorrow, so I may never get any more travel opportunities like those. But I've made my memories and enjoyed my youth. The next part of my life will be parenthood (whenever that starts), and that has its own kind of adventures. Don't get me wrong- I don't think childless adventures are better than adventures with children. My dream job is to be a great wife and mom. But at the end of my life, it would have been a shame for me to look back and feel like I never did anything fun and free because I settled down so early. That's fine for some, but what I didn't realize soon enough was that apparently it's not fine for me. I needed (and I guess still need) my freedom now so that I can fully appreciate the blessings that "tie me down" later. So, if there any of you left out there who are still childless at 29, recall your adventures and be content. You've done a lot of living, and that's nothing to be sad about.

xoxo, A

30 Before 30

Today I turn 29. How could I be entering the last year of my twenties?! I remember so clearly turning 19 at college... ten years ago! I don't feel 29, if ages have a feeling. I never was able to stay up late or eat whatever I want and not gain weight, so nothing has changed! 

Just thinner eyebrows, thinner face, thinner hair... haha. 

Anyway, in August, one of my best friends created a "30 Before 30" list on her 29th birthday. These were 30 things she wants to accomplish before her 30th birthday. I liked that idea and wanted to create a list like that for myself. After this week, it seems even more appropriate. Mike's oldest sister passed away unexpectedly on Monday, at only 32 years old. I was reminded more than ever that we are not guaranteed tomorrow, and we should be numbering our days. While not all of the things on my list have eternal significance, I still felt that making goals so I don't waste my days would be an appropriate way to celebrate life, that fragile gift from God.

So here it is:

Amanda Arbia's 30 Before 30:
1. make homemade pasta
2. play Halo with Mike
3. turn my handwriting into a font
4. teach myself to use my new DSLR and editing program
5. create a family tree for any future offspring
6. find an awesome place I've never been
7. take a relaxing bath at least twice a month, but ideally once a week
8. take one photo a day
9. back up and organize all my photos
10. read Les Miserables
11. write and illustrate a children's book
12. write letters to loved ones
13. grow herbs and not kill them
14. finish wedding, Israel, and cruise scrapbooks
15. try a food I've never tried before
16. refinish the dresser myself
17. picnic with Mike and Lucia at Honeymoon Island
18. make something from Julia Child's cookbook
19. try a new and potentially drastic hairstyle
20. throw a themed party
21. finally get down to 150 lbs.
22. purge wardrobe
23. purchase classic wardrobe staples
24. cook the perfect steak
25. finish writing my Bible study on singleness
26. begin photography business
27. learn to style my hair without heat
28. go without dairy for two weeks
29. go without gluten for two weeks
30. para sail over the Gulf

Don't hate me for not putting a marathon goal up there. I just really hate running. And everyone suggests sky diving. You know what I say to that? "Heck no." I had to choose things that wouldn't be entirely dependent on money, either. At age 30, I'd like to look over my twenties with satisfaction. Already I think I can do that, but these things will help even more. More than anything, however, and impossible to really put onto a list like this, is that I want to be able to clearly see how God has grown me more into a godly woman over the years. I hope I will have more wisdom, holiness, and love for others by the time I hit 30, one year from today.

xoxo, A

Florida, I Love You, But You're Weird.

Florida is a really weird place. I love it and it's home now, but it is entirely unique. Florida is as Southeast as the United States gets, but it is a state that just can't be categorized as the South or the East. When I think of the South, I think of slow, well-fed (if you know what I mean), Baptist, and Republican. When I think of the East, I think formal, classy, upscale, and Democrat.

But Florida is none of those things, in my opinion; if it is any of those things, it's some kind of mish-mash.

I still remember when I interviewed for my job, almost exactly 6 years ago. I was eating dinner at Crispers with Bestie and a large group of people I'd never met. She was busy eating her future husband's soup (hee hee), and I was getting a geography lesson.

"Southern Florida is 'Little Cuba.' Northern Florida is 'Deep South.' Middle Florida is 'Cows.' Pinellas County is just normal."

That's really pretty accurate. I haven't spent much time in "Little Cuba," save for our "Last Hurrah" trip to Key West (which was totally awesome and everyone should go at some point in their lifetime). I also haven't spent much time in "Deep South," thank goodness, because the idea of people who still think they should have seceeded from the Union kind of frightens me. I haven't immersed myself too deeply into "Cows," either, but I've driven past them many times in my trips to Orlando, Ormond Beach, or Melbourne. I do know about Pinellas County, however, and it is this little scrap of normalcy, almost Northern-ness, smack in the middle of this awkward state. Almost everyone I meet has a connection to Chicago, Philedelphia, or New York. Those who were born and bred here have no real twang to their accents. They drive like maniacs, just like at home. Nobody is creepily nice like they are in maybe Georgia or Alabama. The only people who dress in beach wear 24/7 are the tourists. In fact, the only people who visit the beach more than a couple times a month (if that) are tourists. What a weird little Northern bubble stuck next to the Gulf of Mexico! Here are some more weird things about Florida, or at least where I live: the real estate is outrageous compared to most of the rest of the country; silkworms dangle off the trees in the spring; snowbirds. Enough said; the cold days feel colder than cold days up North; you can literally find any kind of food style you want in this area; there are no tornado sirens, yet frequent tornadoes; it's the lightning capitol of the WORLD.

But I think that's why I've found a home here. It feels normal in its weirdness. The only thing that would make me feel more at home would be snow and corrupt politicians.

xoxo, A

Roasted Shrimp Enchiladas with Cream Sauce

I spotted a recipe like this on Pinterest and immediately saw the potential for a WW-friendly recipe. I finally got around to making it tonight because we were going to have my brother-in-law over for dinner, and he's wild about shrimp. We had to reschedule with him, but I figured I'd test this recipe out anyway.

I made significant changes to the original recipe that I found here, but I'll bet the original is fantastic. We liked this meal a lot. It was a little involved to make and took about an hour or so, but I'm sure you could do some prep work to save time. I made this meal WW-friendly. As far as I can tell, using SparkRecipes' recipe calculator, these seem to be about 4 points an enchilada. The enchiladas were pretty spicy, but had great flavor. The cream sauce was great! Give it a try:

The shrimp:
12 oz. bag of medium shrimp, thawed, peeled, and deveined
1 Tbsp. olive oil
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Toss shrimp in the oil and salt and pepper. Place on a cookie tray and roast for about 6-8 minutes, until they are pink and firm. Let cool and then dice into bite-size pieces. I chopped them up pretty small. Reduce the oven to 375 degrees.

The filling:
1 Tbsp. olive oil
2 garlic cloves, minced 
3 slices of white onion, separated
1 carrot, peeled and grated (I used my peeler to make long peels of the carrot)
1/2 C. of sweet bell peppers, sliced thinly (I used those tiny peppers)
1 Tbsp. dried oregano
2 tsp. cayenne pepper
About 8 Whole wheat fajita tortillas
1 C. fat-free cheddar cheese

Heat the oil in a large skillet. Add garlic and onion and cook on medium heat, stirring so the garlic doesn't burn. Let the onions become translucent, about 5 minutes. Add the carrot and peppers, oregano and cayenne. Cook, stirring occasionally, about 2 minutes. Add the shrimp, tossing to combine. Remove from heat.

The sauce:
1 can green enchilada sauce
1/2 C. chicken stock
1/2 C. fat-free sour cream
(this will probably make more than you need)
Salt and pepper to taste
2 tsp. garlic powder

Set a saucepan on medium heat and add the enchilada sauce. Stir in the chicken stock and heat for about a minute, stirring. Stir in the sour cream and whisk until smooth. Stir as it heats. After a few minutes, add seasoning and remove from heat.

Place a spoonful of the filling on the tortilla and add a generous pinch of cheese. Roll up and place seam-side down in a baking dish that you have sprayed with cooking spray. Continue for the rest. Cover in a generous amount of sauce, but you will probably have some left over. Top with cheese. Bake for about 20 minutes, then turn on the broiler for about 3 minutes.

This will serve 4, if each person eats 2 enchiladas (8 WW points total. I don't know how many WW+. 10, maybe?). I served it with black beans and rice, which is really fantastic with the cream sauce. Delicious!

xoxo, A

Inspiration

Am I the only one who, when they think about an upcoming vacation, they get a sort of "feel" they know it will have and then plan out a wardrobe accordingly? I'm the only one? Okay... 
:(



Seriously though. I do that. For example: our Mediterranean cruise last summer. In my mind, it would be all water, wind, sun, and old-world-y, and the wardrobe I thought of would be breezy, loose, coral, aqua, and navy. I literally constructed a wardrobe out of all the coupons, gift cards, and thrifting that in my mind, encapsulated what our trip would be like.

Murano, Italy

Leaving Venice, Italy. Ignore Mike's creepy facial expression.

Somewhere on the Mediterranean.

It's really fun for me. It feels like a more productive and practical way of designing a line of clothing (which I've always wanted to do. Ask to see my notebooks full of designs sometime.

Anyway... we have a trip coming up this June. We're going to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. We're going with my parents and brother, and I'm really excited because I've never been out that way before. We plan to go to Yellowstone and see Old Faithful, do some horseback riding, try fly fishing, and all that sort of stuff.  We are staying here.

And I'm thinking there should be a whole lot of chambray, worn denim, tribal/Native American prints, plaid, flannel, and olive-colored shorts, with awesome hiking boots. That's just what I'm feeling. Here's some of my inspiration:

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Are you feeling it too? If you want my whole inspiration board, check it out on Pinterest here.  

I know there's not much depth to this post. But hey. It's Saturday. :)

xoxo, A

Some Good Ol' Chicken

I got a beautiful Dutch oven for Christmas from my mom. I have been dreaming about lovely things to make in it. Today, I made its inaugural meal, and it didn't disappoint. I was inspired by "lemon rosemary chicken" by http://franziskasfood.wordpress.com, but I made it my own. It's easy and very tasty, but you have to have an hour to spare, because that's how long it took to cook in my oven. 

Here's what I used:
10 very small red potatoes (you could easily cut large ones in half)
1 lemon, halved
4 small shallots, peeled
dried rosemary, to taste. I probably used about 2 Tbsp.
tsp. chili powder
1/2 Tbsp honey
1 cup white wine
4 fresh chicken thighs, bone-in, with skin
kosher salt
fresh ground pepper
4 Tbsp. olive oil
juice of one lemon

Preheat your oven to 400 and after washing the dirt off the potatoes, put them in a pot and cover them with water. Set the burner to high heat and once the water is boiling, let them simmer for about 9 minutes. You don't want them really soft- you're just cooking them enough so they won't be hard after roasting.

If you have time to do this earlier, then marinate the chicken longer. I, however, had like, 10 minutes and it was fine. Combine olive oil, honey, chili powder, some salt and cracked pepper, and lemon juice and marinate the chicken thighs.

When you've drained the potatoes, place them on the bottom of the roasting tin (or in this case, the Dutch oven. I'll bet a roasting tin would make everything nice and crispy, but the oven worked well too!). Stick the lemon halves and shallots in with them, too. Add 1/2 of the rosemary. Pour the wine over the potatoes, and add some salt and cracked pepper.

Arrange the chicken thighs, skin-side up, on top of the potatoes. Cover with any residual marinade. Add the last of the rosemary. Cook for one hour in a Dutch oven (maybe 45 minutes in a roasting pan). Make sure the juice runs clear when you pierce the chicken.

Remove the skin from the chicken (healthier!) and serve with the potatoes, cut open. Spoon a little of the juice from the bottom of the pan onto the chicken and potatoes.

I found this recipe to be easy and very good. It was pretty healthy, too, as long as I didn't gobble up too much of the wine/oil juice. The original recipe called for thickening the juice with milk and cornstarch, but I felt I'd rather spend the calories elsewhere. There was an almost buttery taste, yet no butter was used. The wine flavor cooks out, of course, and the lemon/rosemary/shallots were not overpowering. Plus, it made my house smell amazing. Are there any other rosemary fans out there?!

This served Mike and me, with some potatoes left over that I couldn't eat. You could easily have added more potatoes and more thighs to fit in the Dutch oven and serve more people.  

Try this out soon! You won't be disappointed! Next time I might use my roasting pan!

xoxo, A

Ebenezers... Again.

I've written about ebenezers before. You know, the piles of stones the Israelites would erect as a testament of God's faithfulness? I'm a firm believer that recognizing and remembering ebenezers is something that grows  faith tremendously. Unless we choose to take notice of Gods faithfulness in our lives, we miss opportunities to change and grow.

I keep forgetting to do this- or to add to what I've started- but a great way to take notice is by writing little things that remind us of God's faithfulness on smooth stones (bought at Michael's), and then putting them in a tall glass vase. Then not only can you remove them and review God's faithfulness in your life, but just seeing the sheer number of stones will remind you, even in passing.

Something I'm more committed to is journaling. I don't do that as often as I should either, but every couple of weeks I like to write down ways that God has continued to show his faithfulness in my life.

Why do this? Because when hard times come and I feel alone and far from God? I can remind myself of what is true. God was faithful and good in the past. God is currently faithful and good. and God will continue to be faithful and good in the future.

I write this because recently, God met a need of ours in a very tangible way. A decreased paycheck, new car payment, and increased cost of insurance left us in a bad way for the month of January. But God knew, and God provided, and we want to always remember that God provides what we need, when we need it.

Then I had this thought: think about the joy we experience when God meets a physical need of ours. Now imagine our joy in eternity, when we fully realize the joy of God meeting our eternal spiritual needs! Won't that be incredible?!

So wherever you're at right now- whatever need you have at the moment- take a moment to review God's faithfulness in your life, and remember that God is faithful and good. He will meet your needs in the right way at just the right time.

xoxo, A

A Year and Some Change...

By "change," I mean a couple of weeks... not a major life change. Though I'll be honest. I think Mike and I are ready for a couple life changes: namely, a house and a baby. But we're waiting, which seems to be what we do in life, isn't it? Wait? That could be why my life verse (acquired while waiting for a husband) is Psalm 27:13-14.

But a couple weeks ago, Mike and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary. It's crazy to think an entire year has passed since we stood before our families, our friends, and the Lord and promised ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives. What a precious day that was. In fact, it was my most favorite day ever. You can read about it here.
It's been a wild ride. We survived and enjoyed every holiday, every awful Monday, and lots of little struggles and joys in between. 

So for our anniversary, Mike got us a room at the same hotel where we spent our wedding night-- the Intercontinental, in Tampa. It's a great hotel, and we got a free upgrade to a junior suite. Let's just say that's a little better than our room on our wedding night-- it was an adjoining room with a loud gaggle of girls next door. Hahahaha! Not this time!

Glass elevators... we are easily amused.

This is an attempted panorama of much of our room. That black part in the middle is the partial wall between the living and bedroom area. The windows spanned the whole wall.

Because of our anniversary, we got a free buffet breakfast at Shula's, and they made my my very own special omelet. Why is Mike smiling so, you might ask? Because he spotted Frank from "American Pickers," also enjoying the buffet.  We were going to say hello after he finished eating, but a couple of people finally recognized him and we didn't want to be obnoxious. Instead, Mike made this face. What a cutie.

See? There he is. I know, I know-- you can't see his face. This is all Mike would let me do. He was chatting with the concierge. Nice guy.

We walked across the street to enjoy some shopping. And weird posing with gelato that was under par.

Mike also made a reservation at the same place we had our reception: Maggiano's-- also conveniently located across the street from the hotel. 

We may or may not have gorged ourselves on fried mozzarella, 4-cheese ravioli in a pesto cream sauce, and some kind of way-too-rich peanut butter chocolate dessert. This event in our anniversary weekend was very important, since Mike hasn't let me forget that at our reception, we didn't get to eat anything because we were either dancing or taking pictures. I argue that we did eat this ravioli... hours later, in our hotel room, without silverware, holding them like Hot Pockets.

Our waiter brought us something to toast with-- some non-alcoholic peach thing, which was fantastic!

And now my favorite part: on the left, you have a piece of our wedding cake, preserved carefully by my mom, and kept in our freezer for a year. You know, it wasn't bad! Way to go, Publix! In the back are the toasting glasses my mother-in-law gave us. Then there's our toasting beverage of choice: sparkling white grape juice. I promise, we're both over 21. We just don't like the taste of alcohol! Under that is one of our anniversary presents to the other. Guess who this one is from? Instead of buying gifts, we decided that every year we would write each other a letter. I think that's a tradition I'll really enjoy.

On the day we had to leave, we wept. Not really, but boy was it nice to not have any responsibilities for a couple days! This was our sit and veg until late checkout day.

Our final meal: Chipotle. Can you think of any better way to end a fantastic anniversary weekend? I think not.

On year down, 50+ to go. Hahaha. But really, I'm so thankful to be married to Mike. He's my best friend and it's been a privilege to stand by his side, serve him, and watch him grow. I'll enjoy every year I get with him.  

xoxo, A