4.05.2012

Thoughts for Thursday: Verbal Affirmation

I sometimes laugh when "love languages" are discussed.  It's not that I necessarily disagree with the concept, but sometimes love languages are used as pat answers or sound trite.  But the more time goes by and the more I learn about myself, I realize there are specific ways I feel love more than others.  One of those is verbal affirmation.  I like to hear that I'm loved in conjunction with the knowledge that I am loved.  I like to hear that I look nice today instead of just assuming Hband likes the way I've done my hair.


The funny thing about love languages is that not only do we have certain ways we like to receive love; we also have certain ways we like to show love.  And Hband does not always show love by verbal affirmation.  He shows it in so many other ways, and I never doubt his affection.  


But in the three months we've been married, I've realized a problem.  It's not necessarily Mike's problem, but it's mine.  I feel this need to know that I'm loved, desired, appreciated. etc, and I want to hear it.  While that's normal, and not necessarily bad, I know the root of this is pride.  


And it's not in Hband's job description to feed my ego and coddle my pride.  Besides-- if I need affirmation and words that tell me I'm worthwhile, loved, and pretty, I know where I really need to go: the Word.


God tells me I'm beautiful-- Psalm 139
God tells me I'm loved-- John 3:16
God tells me I'm worth it-- Romans 5:8


And that's just the beginning.  That's just the tiniest peak of the iceberg.


This is another illustration of how marriage is designed to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church-- the love and affirmation that a husband might give his wife is only a taste of the love and affirmation given by Christ to his followers.


Of course, he also kicks my butt, too-- but that's for another day. :)




xoxo, A